Breakdown
by dudems
Summary: CHAPTER 13 UPDATED! The story about Faith and her seeing that its not just her with problems (this chapter: Tala goes to hunt down bryan, will he open his past up willingly? or will there be trouble?) R
1. breakdown

Okay this is my very first fanfic and I hope you all like it, (so be nice) The first chapter concentrates more on introducing Faith (the main character) and her past which is why this is a bit of a sad chappie, but chapter two will involve all the favourite beyblade characters including Kai and Tala and some others and will be more of a happier chapter Enjoy…^__^

CHAPTER 1

            Faith looked beside her as a weight hit her shoulder. Her brother Callum had drifted into one of his usual slumbers. He looked peaceful in his own heaven, with his uncut hair roughly covering his closed eyes. 

She was so jealous of him, the way he was care free and happy, always making friends and full of confidence. One of the many things she lacked. 

            Outside, the rain pattered and the trees and fields they passed were a blur. They were on their way to some unknown part of Canada, to live with their Aunt Jude, for the summer. It was all her blasted dad's fault. If he had just stayed and not accepted the job in Japan, they wouldn't have to go to a town so detached it could have been outer space for all she knew. Already there were signs of no visible civilisation- unless you counted the sheep.

            She hated her dad. And she was already starting to miss Kingston Avenue. If it wasn't for her dad she could have been where she always was, sat on her bed. Alone. Away from the world with only her CD collection, comforted by the four blue walls that surrounded her.

            She remembered how she had stormed off after her dad had told her where they were spending summer.

            "It's only for the summer Faith, and it will be good for you. Make some new friends. It's really unhealthy the way you sit in your room all day. You're a Teenager. Be normal and socialise a little! You need to move on from your mother's death Fai…"

            "Don't you dare bring up mum!" She had screamed out, shaking with anger and frustration, her grey eyes darkening in rage. The same eyes that now closed shut as a tear escaped and trickled down her pale cheek.

            Her mum, Faith thought, she had been the world to her and then she had passed away. Almost a year now, when she had been fifteen. She could remember that day like no other. Her dad was shattered. The death had come so suddenly, and only in the report after her death had they realised she had died from a cancer in the stomach. 

            It was no use now, she was gone. But Faith knew, what made it worse was her mum had taken a part of Faith with her that would never return. She had taken her happiness and her love, but she had also taken away her security and confidence. Nobody seemed to understand that and everybody had moved on.

            She sighed and thought back. After her mums death the family was different. Callum, who was a year older than her didn't really show how hurt he was and just carried on as though their mum had only gone on a vacation. Her dad on the other hand had drowned his sorrows in a bottle of whisky, or rather a few dozen bottles of whisky. That led to him losing his job and they had eventually ended up completely broke. Faith however had retreated to her own private space which before used to be the back of the dumpster but now was her familiar four walls of her bedroom. She closed up to everyone, including her friends. And of course like everything else in her life they had moved on.  Even her dad was no longer an alcoholic anymore. He was a responsible, normal dad. Sure he wasn't exactly the same as before, but things had gotten back to normal, especially after the move. That was for them, not for her. 

            One day while they were still stuck in the gutter smelling motel, completely broke her dad had come home with a wide grin and a new high paid job. He had managed to pull them out of the debt and she should have been happy because they could eat something other than mashed potatoes, but the thought of moving sickened her stomach. 

The day had come, and they had left the roach filled motel behind and moved to the up part of town. New school. New home. New friends. She mentally laughed at that. What friends? Coville High might as well have been named Bitch High.

            The first day, she could still remember the sweet smell of the school, unusual really. But the sickly smile of the pink haired girl in the front row. Mariah Dawson. Pink haired, preppy and popular. One of those really pretty girls who knew they were better than anyone. 

            "So you must be from the farm, judging by your clothes, right?" 

insult after insult, had forced her to lay awake each night, tears pouring from her eyes until there were no more tears left. It wasn't just the constant insults from the bitches at Coville High spreading rumours about her and it wasn't entirely about her mother's death either. She had just been so long without anyone that she felt insecure. She knew that was why Mariah picked on her. Mariah knew she was a loser, and she was a loser.

Faith pushed at her piercing in her tongue at the memories. It was a habit now. A habit to stop herself from breaking down in front of people. She would just take the insults, if she was anyone else they would have stood up for themselves, but not her. She would just swallow them. The day she had got her tongue pierced her dad had blown a hole in the roof. She didn't know why she had done it, it had just felt right. The same way she had dyed her hair black. She had thought maybe it might have changed her. But she knew she was a loser, no hair dye would change that. No hair dye would bring her confidence back. 

            The screech of the train wheels snapped Faith out of thought. They had arrived in Brunei, and were pulling up into the station.

Callem jumped out of the train, wide awake now, head up, bright eyed and ready for action. Faith stood head down shuffling her feet silently watching him from afar and already Callem had begun talking to a few teenage boys on the platform, one a red head and the other a bluenette. They were all laughing and joking as though they had known each other for ages. Why couldn't she be like Callem? The problem, which Faith realised, was she was afraid of meeting new people, she was incapable of making friends. The proof was there she had already been to Coville High for 6 months and still remained with no friends. She could feel the dark shadow of insecurity creeping up on her again. The same shadow that had possessed her for the past year binding her to her bedroom. Faith stood thinking about what suffering this new town would have in store for her, when her thoughts were broken by the red head "Callem who's the freak then?" 

It was starting all over again…

*************

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Read and review and NO FLAMES. Be nice this is my first ever fic. And like I said the next chapter is going to be less angsty and more with the beyblade characters. I will be happy to hear any ideas for this story. Review! Review review!


	2. meeting and greeting

Ok here's chapter 2 yay- quick update eh! 

Oh yeah I want to ask you guys what type of pairings do you think should take place, and whether you think there should be yaoi or not. 

I have to thank my reviewers. I'm so happy you all liked it ^__^

Tala: oh boy you got her happy again, talk about sugar high or what!

Dudems: ah shut it! Ok thank you to… Miekkie- yesss! You didn't think it was crap! Thank you.  Sailor Lain- see I updated! I updated! Yeah sailor moon! You're right that dude is so rude to Serena! (But he's hot). Crazy Rei Luva- thank you, you have given me the inspiration to continue this fic. I haven't actually decided who's going to get Faith, but you'll see. I added someone else in today too hehe, you'll see, just read. 

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the beyblade characters but I own my own characters, so HA!

CHAPTER 2- Meeting and Greeting

"Callum, who's the freak then?"

Callum let out a low chuckle, "Dude, that's my sister."

Both boys' eyebrows arched in surprise, as they looked towards the teenage girl looking at the floor a few feet away.

            "Hey Faith, over here! Come and meet Tala and Kai" Slowly Faith looked up and made her way over to the boys.

"Uh, hi" was all she managed to choke out. Faith felt crap, they thought she was a freak! They were just like the rest of those morons back in Coville.

            The red head pushed his hand out to greet her, "Tala, nice to meet you, you have an awesome name" 

Faith smiled weakly. Tala was tall and lean. He looked about her brother's age. Confident and outgoing, with bright red hair, she had never seen hair like that before. Maybe it was dyed? But she would never have the guts to ask that! The thing that caught her most was his eyes. They were icy blue but still had so much warmth trapped inside them. Tala had been the first person in the past year not including her family who didn't immediately assume her to be a slut. The other boy who she presumed to be Kai just grunted. He was also tall and quite muscular. She would have placed him with the jocks really, with a body like that, but from his attitude she knew that he probably wouldn't even associate with them. He was so reserved. Kind of like her really, but he stood with a kind of unexplainable authority and pride. He may have been quiet but he sure was confident. She was guessing he was an art-boy. Yep, the clothes gave that away. His jeans were black, splattered with paint and his top was a black t-shirt that had the words "bleach" printed in white. His hair was two shades of blue, and he had paint marks in the same blue shade on his pale face. He glared suddenly with fiery crimson eyes, and Faith turned away, realising that she had been staring. 

            As they walked into the sunshine and out of the station, a boy ran up to them. Faith smirked, there was only one word to describe him, a hippie. It was so obvious from the amount of bracelets he had on his wrists. His hair was darker than her own, jet black dyed hair and was tied loosely. It ran down his back and reached his mid-thigh. Talk about needing a hair cut, Faith thought. (A/n: I am not out to offend anyone this is just Faith's perception of him)

A pair of sunglasses crowned his head and Faith guessed that he would probably smell of pot. 

            "Yo guys, where have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you both!" Suddenly his eyes flicked from Tala and Kai onto Callum and then settled onto Faith. Quickly she lowered her gaze as she felt a pair of eyes burning into her skin, looking her up and down.

            "Who are they?" the boy questioned, still openly staring at Faith. 

            "Rei this is Callum and Faith" Tala stated. "They're staying at old Jude's at Rockmore Drive" he continued. 

Rei whistled softly. "Our first female Goth in Brunei" 

Faith hated that. The way people only acknowledged her for what she looked like. She didn't even feel 'gothic' Goths knew their mind, and didn't take shit. She was just a loser dressed in black. She could feel the familiar feeling of shame wash over her once again. 

            "She's not a Goth, dude" Callum said, filling the silence.

            "Whatever" 

            "Hey, so lets drop your stuff off then" Tala said. As they started to walk to Rockmore Drive, Rei, Kai and Callum were having a conversation about the best sort of attack rings available. Tala was deep in thought. He looked across to Faith, she looked like she was going to cry. It was definitely weird. Callum and Faith were completely different in everyway. Faith was almost as tall as Callum. She had jet black hair that reached up to half way down her back. Her eyes were grey and timid. Her skin smooth and pale. He studied her clothes, she wore black baggy combats which hung low on her slim hips. Her sleeveless top, showing one of her best assets. She was definitely hot material, he smirked, he wouldn't mind getting his hand's on her. But even then, there was something about her, she was so fragile and so… it was so weird, he couldn't quite figure out what it was. Faith was definitely not like Callum. He looked over to the boy, who was talking to his friends. Tall and lean, with brown hair that partially covered his bright green eyes. His t-shirt had the name of one of Tala's favourite bands AFI on the back. Tala watched Callum from behind as Callum walked lazily, he grinned, that was one similarity he noted between the siblings, as he looked from one to the other, they both had nice tight asses. 'ahhh' he thought, had he seriously been thinking of Callum's ass! 

            At the same time kai had been planning his summer, he would definitely bed Faith before the summer was out. He smirked, one more to add to his collection.

            "This is it, Rock more Drive" Rei spoke. Faith looked up. The house was huge. House wasn't even the correct description more like mansion! Aunt Jude must be loaded.

            "So we still on for tonight Callum?" Tala asked.

            "Sure, meet you guys around 7"

With that Tala, Kai and Rei started walking off in the direction of the station. Callum turned to Faith.

            "There's a party tonight, some rich kid's parents are out of town. Call it a rave if you like, you're coming, yeah?"

"Um… I don't know Callum, I just don't think I fit in you know"

            "Faith that is Bullshit! You know, dad was right, maybe making a few friends won't hurt. Maybe even a boyfriend" he teased. Grinning he carried on "Come on, I saw the way that boy Tala looked at you, so…"

            "So, what?"

            "So, are you coming duh!" 

            "I'll think about it"

            "I'll take that as a yes" Callum finished.

Faith was unsure about the whole thing, and Callum, Callum was just a bastard, no guy could ever like her, unless they thought she was a slut, just like Mariah did. But she would probably end up going, Callum always got his way. Suddenly the door opened and Aunt Jude stood, all 80 kilos of her.

            "I thought I heard voices outside" she smiled, "Callum, Faith come in, I'm so glad to see you both, and you've both changed so much, you're all grown up now!" she bubbled, whilst engulfing Callum and Faith in tight hugs. 

            'I can't breathe, damn it! Lord help me! This is going to be a long summer!' Callum thought.

            Meanwhile Faith was also thinking about later that night. All she could think of was how these new people would probably come to the same conclusion as Mariah and the rest of Coville High. That she was (a) a slut or (b) a freak. Either way she didn't know if she could do it. Was she really ready to face all those people?

 To be continued…

*************

ok that's all I've written so far, will update soon, but not for a few days because of ahhh crap exams. Save me! 

Anyway next chapter will be at the party and you'll have to see the surprise of characters that will be there. Also I want to know all ur worst characters then I can use them as the evil people. In a few chapters time the story will really start to get hotter! Keep reading, and Review. NO FLAMES! 


	3. kudos to pain

Hello again! And I have to say I am sooooo happy because I got loads of reviews and that made me smile ^__^ (even more than max does) yeah so you all put a smile on my face because I have exams and so reviews are the only thing that will cheer me up. Plus I am ill! How great is that!  
No one answered my question about yaoi! The only person who answered was tala!   
tala: (looks chuffed) see I rock!

Robert: what is this rock you talk of? 

Yeah so please answer the question when you review (please review again) hehe, and so:

In no order, I thank the loyal ones:

Miekkie: thankyou, and you came on the fierce website! That was a surprise ^__^

Tala: yeah don't' worry there are no kai/rei pairings at all! AFI kick some ass! Woooo! Rock on dude! 

Robert: that is so uncouth, get a hold of yourself (looks in disgust at dudems who is jumping around listening to AFI) 

Nicky, or beygirl Nicky: hehe, thanks for letting me use your character aswell, and you really put a big smile on my face when I saw that message on the fierce website! And everyone go read Nicky's fanfic- its cool!

Adreill: you have to finish reading it! Hehe

Priestess Juanita: merci boucoup (thanks very much in French- dunno why I'm using French!)

jcm1o1: woohoo you didn't think it was junk! Awesome, and yeah like I said I hate Mariah. 

Crazy rei luva: thankyou so much for the help with the character and she will be in chapter 4! And you rock!

Robert: why won't someone tell me what this rock is?

All: o_O (facefault)

Mystical elf: can't wait to read your fic too, you have to post it up soon, and thanks for reviewing!

Lil miss me: thanks for thinking it was good, keep reading!

SilverHopeForever: cheers glad you liked it!

Sailor Lain: hehe yeah I tried to make kai a bit perverted, but he will be back to his normal self in the chapters to come!

And soza and Sam: my best mates! Cheers for reading!

  
If I forgot to mention you and you reviewed, you can personally come and kick my ass, and I'm sorry if I have, but ff.net isn't working properly and I have to rely on the emails I got!

There was a change in plan with the chapters as you will see:  
  
disclaimer: yeah yeah yeah I don't own beyblade.   
read on to chapter 3!

**Chapter 3- Kudos to Pain**

****

            Faith leaned back onto the soft pillow. She had been watching TV now for four hours straight. Tala had called earlier saying the rave had been cancelled and would be next week. Callum had gone over to do whatever guys do at kai and rei's house. Her aunt Jude had gone to her usual Thursday night bingo, leaving Faith alone. Faith glanced over to the kitchen table where her aunt had left her a $20 note so she could get herself some dinner (A/n: how much does her dinner cost?!) 

A slight rumbling noise emerged from her stomach and Faith groaned realising she was hungry. After pulling on her leather jacket, Faith walked down the road, navigating her way along the now dark street. Her aunt had told her there was a nearby fast food place in town. As Faith reached the main high road, which only had a few shops left open, she saw the fast food joint, called 'Kudos'

            The bell rang as Faith stepped inside the small brightly lit room. 

Two girls sat behind the counter reading magazines but apart from them the place was empty. One girl was a curvy blonde, she had deep blue eyes that were set into a perfect heart shaped face. The other girl wore an apron and had short mousy brown hair and angular features.

            "Can I help you?" the blonde asked in a flat tone.

            "Yeah, can I have a hamburger and fries?" 

The blonde turned away from Faith to put in the order, when the other girl looked up in interest.

            "Hi, haven't seen you around before, are you new?" she asked.

            "Yeah, I'm here for the summer" Faith answered.

            "Maybe we could hang out or something?" she offered

Faith was caught in amazement, someone wanted to be her friend. Maybe Callum had been right and this summer wouldn't be so bad after all. 

            "Yeah sure" Faith replied.

            "I'm Noleé, what's your name?"

            "Faith"

The blonde interrupted their conversation, before Noleé could continue, "Here you go" she said, handing Faith the paper bag, her expression full of distaste. Faith turned to exit but stopped when she heard the blonde one.

            "Can I say something" Faith didn't reply and the blonde went on, all the while Noleé trying to hush her.

            "I think you're pathetic. That tongue thing is disgusting and the next time you like want to dye your hair, you should _try reading the instructions. I'm sure your mum can afford to send you to a professional."_

            "COURTNEY!" Noleé spurted, guiltily looking at Faith, but Faith was already walking out of the door.

            Faith was usually on automatic, she usually just shut her brain off before the nasty comment could hurt her. But this time is had got through and she walked until she reached the end of the nearby dock, and stood in the dark, not hungry any longer. Faith couldn't stop hurting, normally she wouldn't have cried, but this time, maybe it was the bringing up of her mother, but she let out choked sobs and the tears began to roll down her flushed cheek for the first time in a long time. She didn't even know this Courtney with her perfect curves and pouty red lips. It wasn't fair! She finally thought she could fit in for once, and not be the outcast. She thought they were different for that split second when Noleé had befriended her. It was like she had a permanent kick-me sign on her back, where people could just walk all over her, not just back at home at Coville High, but everywhere, wherever she went in the world. Normally in the movies that Faith had seen, after something bad happened to the 'good girl' some hero would come to comfort the victim but in reality there was no one. Faith buried her hands in her lap, tugging her knees closer towards herself, her pride completely shattered into millions of tears. 

As the sobs became less and Faith recollected herself she heard the rustle of leaves somewhere behind her. Shivering she turned around in the darkness. She could feel the presence of someone or something, sending a chill up her spine. As her eyes adjusted, she saw a familiar pair of cold eyes from afar. As she blinked to check that her eyes were not deceiving her, the next second whoever had been there was now gone and she was once again left alone in the pitch darkness, with the smooth sounds of only the ripple of the water. 

*****************

That's chapter 3 up! Please Read and Review! NO FLAMES! And remember any ideas will be welcome and also please say if you want some Yaoi or not, cos there will be pairings in later chapters.


	4. shocked

Here goes chapter 4! ^__^

Disclaimer: yeah yeah I don't own beyblade!

**Chapter 4- shocked?**

            After the events of the night before Faith had not been able to sleep well and woke up at some unearthly hour of the morning. From the sounds of the snores coming from her aunts' bedroom it appeared her aunt was asleep. Padding softly down the stairs in her socks and pyjamas, Faith was surprised to see Callum already awake reading a comic on the sofa.

            "Morning" he called.

            "What are you doing up so early?" Faith asked.

            "Just waiting" he replied

            "For?"

            The doorbell rang interrupting their conversation. 

            "That!" Callum called to Faith grinning.

            Behind the door stood Tala and Rei accompanied by another girl.

'Shit' Faith thought cringing, 'I'm standing in bloody bear pyjamas. This is so embarrassing' 

            "Callum you could have at least warned me" Faith muttered.

Tala picked up on this and cheekily said, "I love to see a girl in her pyjamas, grrrr so sexy" 

Faith blushed at this, and then purposely fake smiled to show she wasn't impressed. 

            "Rei! So are you going to introduce me?" The other girl asked, pulling on the dark haired boy's arm.

            "Sure! Oh yeah guys this is Aya, but you can call her MC though, she's my girlfriend, but you never had a chance to meet her because she was out of town. MC this is Callum and Faith" Rei said pointing at each of them. 

            "HI!" MC chirped cheerfully

            "Okay before I say anything, you have to answer a question Faith!" her voice filled with hyperness, she continued in a menacing voice, "Are you scared of blood, gore and HORROR!" 

            "Um not really" Faith answered unsure of what MC had planned. 

Callum nodded, "She's always watching horror flicks!"

            "Good! We'll get along great!" MC gushed happily, resisting the urge to jump about. 

'She could be so hyper sometimes' Rei thought grateful they were together.

            "Now the lot of you boys…" MC softly and sweetly spoke, while finishing with a roar, "GET OUT!!!" 

Both Callum and Faith flinched, whilst Tala and Rei obediently made their way out of the front door. Callum following on behind, grabbing a few things on his way out.

            "See ya sis, hey lets meet up later, about four?" with that he shut the door behind him and Faith was left with MC.

            Taking initiative, Faith decided that MC seemed to be better than most of the people round here, so she loosened up a bit.

            "So what do you guys do around here?"  She asked.

            "Come on! I'll give you a tour" MC said enthusiastically pulling Faith out of the door.

            "Woahhh, hold on a minute, look at me, I'm still in my pyjama's!"

            "Hehe, Yeah well it **was** a hit with Tala" MC winked

After pulling on a pair of blue jeans that had been lying around and a black shirt, Faith was ready to go. Thinking to herself she mentally noted that she was a lot happier than when she had woken up, Courtney no longer in her mind. 

            "Brunei is a very small place that is not good for doing ANYTHING! All we have is a cinema, some shops and a fast food place. That's about it really, not even a mall!" MC complained. "But, we do have the best parties, best bladders and the weirdest bunch of people"

            "Humph, I'll agree to that!" Faith muttered sarcastically.

            "What do you mean?" MC asked.

            "Basically I've met, 1. A freaky art boy who only has one word in his vocabulary that isn't even a word! 2. My aunt who is obsessed with hugging! AND not forgetting 3. That blonde bitch!" Faith finished counting them off on her fingers.

            "MC looked a bit hurt at this, "You think I'm a bitch?" 

Faith laughed, "No! Of course not, not you, that Courtney. You are like my only friend in this hell hole!"

            "Ah! Yeah she is a bitch, but she can be OK at times, the 'art freak' that you talk of- Kai, he comes across as a right bastard but he's not as tough as he seems, I can bet you there is a heart under all that muscle, he's just had a rough past, and your aunt, well family is a whole other story!" MC explained.

"Now come on, lets go and watch something evil" MC cackled, "No one else ever wants to watch horror stuff with me!"

            Faith was definitely having a great day and she smiled for once at the thought of her new friend MC. MC was great, she was the happy go lucky type, who could still be serious at times, and Faith knew there was more to her than what met the eye. She had smooth blonde hair that was sharply cut at the edges. The sides were highlighted black, and Faith noted that MC had a habit of always putting it behind one ear.

            They were just nearing the dreaded 'Kudos' as they had planned to meet the boys at four, when the excited Chinese boy Rei jumped out, embracing MC.

            "Come on! You guys are late, we already ordered"

Just walking into 'kudos' made Faith's legs turn to jelly, but she had MC this time so she felt better. Sitting at a booth was a rather annoyed looking Tala and a brown haired boy sat opposite. The back of his head was all that was visible, whom Faith knew was Callum. But sitting on top of Callum was a girl with thick long strawberry blonde hair, her lips caught in a raunchy kiss and her hands trailing the back of his wavy chin length hair.

            "UH! Get a room" Tala muttered, standing up, jealousy written clearly upon his face. Faith was more concerned about who the blonde was. It couldn't be! Could it???

******************************

Dun dun dun. Who is it??? Hahaha, you'll all have to wait and see!! Bwahahahahah!

Sorry this chapter wasn't brilliant, but the next chapter is going to be a lot of fun, this is where they will be going to the rave. ^__^

And… there is the debut of my new character- which you will have to wait and see. Hehehe. And also for MC I must thank **crazy rei luva **thanks sooo much! 

And also thanks to all my reviewers:

**Beygirlnicky: **thanks so much for everything, the support, the character and the craziness! You will be joining me in the mental home. Bwahahhaha! Lol, and update your fic soon. Everyone must read it cos it's great! And I feel so privileged it has me in it! Yayayayya!

**Crazy rei luva: **Thanks for MC and here's an update!

**Sailor Lain: **yeah I feel sorry for Faith too, but she is slowly making progress ^__^

**Tala: **cheers for the review. Stop wasting the weed on Robert damn it! He's not worth it! Bwahahaha! Illicit narcotic use is the way! Hell yeah! And yesss you updated high school life, can't wait till the next chapter of that! And guess what is on the stereo, girls not grey!

**Keket: **die evil sluts! That's the way! Die bitches die! Hehe, yeah thanks for the review, and they will die! (one day) and that was funny, the sipping drink thing! And glad you like it!

**Skya: **I will keep updating it, glad you liked it, but keep reviewing and reading!

**Coppelia:** yup of course Tala is in the story (he rocks) and Faith does beyblade (but not very well) only because she had no self confidence, but that may change (fingers crossed) and I started to read your fic, its great! Can't wait to read the rest, but can't do that right now, die evil physics! Die! Yeah I have exams-waaah!

**Miekkie:** yup Faith is a character that lots of people can understand, because there are evil bitches everywhere! But we just have to deal with them, so I guess my point of this fic is to deal with what life throws. Sad to hear that you won't update for 2 wks! Wahhh! Wish it was sooner

**Mystical Elf: **yay! Keep reading! Keep reading! (dudems starts becoming hysterical- mental hospital people come chasing dudems) and you have to wait a few more chappie's to know who was creeping in the bushes.

**Adreill: **thanks for reading, and you're right, it is a secret!

**And not forgetting Dranz from fierce: **cos you didn't exile me and nicky for going on and on about fanfics, danke! (thanks)

And if I forgot anyone, come and kick my ass- sorry if I did!


	5. Strength or Weakness?

Hello again! Yep this is chapter 5 (can't believe I got this far) but hey! That's all cos of you- the people who read and review! Hint hint!

I have to warn you all, this chapter was supposed to be that party, but again it hasn't gone according to plan and unfortunately it was supposed to be in chapter 5 but became too long, so you have to put up with this chapter- plus this is sort of important for later on! 

Ok I'm not going to rant on anymore, ah wait! I forgot yeah I don't own beyblade (wish I did)

**Chapter 5- Strength or Weakness?**

****

            'No! No! No! This cannot be happening' Faith thought 'WHY!'

Her suspicions were proved as the blonde giggled coyly and looked up, before once again pressing her full red lips against Callum's. Sure enough it was her. Courtney. 

Faith could no longer stand there watching them. 'Her of all people, her!' Quickly she turned around, walking straight past MC and pushing past a boy with curly blonde hair who was blocking the doorway. 

            "Easy!" He shouted back to Faith who had already walked out. 

"Party tonight! Can you believe it! My parents are out for the weekend!" The blonde boy continued, turning his attention to the group in the restaurant.

            "Are you messing Enrique? Last time you told us that, your parents were still home" Rei questioned, whilst casually leaning his head back onto the booth.

            "YEAH, DUH! They've already left" Enrique grinned.

            Tala, who was sick of watching Courtney playing tonsil tennis with Callum, decided to join Faith outside.

            Sitting on a nearby bench was Faith, shock clearly plastered across her pale face. Tala grimaced at the sight of Faith's expression.

            "Hey you!" He called, "Come on, lets beyblade"

            "What?" Faith answered looking up

            "You heard me, you and me, right now"

            "But…"

            "No buts, I bet you're a great blader. Now come on!" He pushed on eagerly. Tala clearly did not take no as an answer, he had already pulled out his wolborg blade and his eyes glistened icily. Smiling Faith joined Tala by the nearby dish, her good mood returning.

            "3-2-1 LET IT RIP!" They both shouted. 

Faith was definitely surprised at the power and spin of her blade, it had never been like that before, and she was normally a weak blader.

The two blades pushed against each other spinning strongly, both blades attacking ferociously.

            "Come on Faith!" MC cheered, whilst Rei who had just come out of the restaurant clapped in support. "Yeah you can take him!"

Something within her brought out a strength she had never thought she had possessed. The support increased her confidence, bringing her blade to new levels. It was strange, she had a bitbeast. Her bitbeast, Josényla, yet it had never done anything. She had never felt it and had always disregarded it. But this time, Faith could feel its presence. It had slowly surrounded the opponent and then pounced on its prey in a surprise attack. Tala however was not inexperienced and had attacked back with equal force. The two blades grazed against one another, ramming with high energy. 

Tala stood still watching his blade, concentration clearly connecting him to the wolf in battle, but inside he could not understand what was going on.

            'I never expected her to be so strong Wolborg… I don't know what to do' his thoughts trailing. Clearly Callum had been wrong in telling him Faith was not good at beyblading, this annoyed Tala because he knew he had underestimated Faith's strength. All that aura of fragility which surrounded her was definitely not her true state Tala realised.

            Suddenly Josényla jabbed Wolborg with a thrust and Tala's blade began to wobble. Faith stood smirking, all that she needed to finish him off, was one good final push. 

            "Josényla Final AT…" the sentence never quite finished, and the words remained in Faith's throat as she heard the remark her brother made to the rest of the group.

            "Yeah right, what's going on? Faith winning- MY ASS! She's completely crap at beyblading, normally can't even launch the blade properly, let alone keep it spinning longer than two seconds" he said jokingly.

But those few comments had been enough to throw Faith's confidence and the familiar shame washed over her, what had she been thinking?

            Her strong spinning beyblade abruptly stopped without it even being hit, and Faith walked away leaving the rest of the group utterly shocked. 

            "You were so right Callum, she is a crap beyblader" Courtney jeered evilly. The rest of the audience who had been watching weren't so sure.

            "That was…weird" MC spoke confusion echoing in her words.

            "Yeah" agreed Rei, "did you see the way her blade stopped? It was like she stopped it herself" 

            "And she was so close to winning" Enrique added.

            Kai had also been watching the battle from a distance. The battle had also thrown him slightly. Firstly that Faith was that strong and secondly the way she had just quit. He had his suspicions as to why her blade had just stopped, he had read about it in one of the many books on beyblades in his grandfather's library. 'Why am I getting involved' He thought to himself, mentally cursing. 'This has nothing to do with me. So what if she lost, that's not my problem, it's hers. She's just weak.' 

            Tala had just stood there unable to move. What had just happened? He had been expecting weeks of torment for losing. But he hadn't lost. No, he had won, collectively speaking. Although he didn't feel like a winner, she should have won. It was her right. 

Snapping out of the trance, Tala looked down at the blade left in the dish. Faith had just left her blade and had walked off. As he clamped his cold hand closed over the black and blue blade Tala immediately felt a burst of warmth tingling over his skin. He could see Faith about 100 metres away and ran after her to give her, her forgotten possession. 

            "Faith, wait up" He called, stopping to catch his breath.

The girl did stop but made no signs of turning around. Instead Tala walked over to her and held out the blade in his hand. 

            "You…forgot…this," He spoke in between trying to breathe in oxygen. 

            "What's the point? Its not like I'm worth Josényla" She turned around looking Tala in the eye for that split second.

            "What! Are you joking, you were awesome, you almost beat me, and you think you're crap? If it's what Callum said, don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's talking about, and he's jealous"

Faith didn't reply but took her blade from Tala's hand.

            "So I'll see you soon then" Faith said turning around to go home.

            "Wait, Faith, there's this party tonight. Are you going to go? I mean, do you want to go with me?"

            "Look, I mean I dunno, parties aren't really my thing" Faith replied.

            "I'm going to be playing, with my band, come on, it'll be fun" Tala said trying to convince Faith, disappointment undoubtedly seen in his clear blue eyes. 

            "OK I'll come" Faith answered softly.

            "Great! Pick you up at seven, we're all going together, I mean me, you MC and Rei and not forgetting the liveliest nutcase round here" Tala grinned, his features brightening. 

            "Nutcase?" Faith questioned

            "Ha-ha! You'll see!"

As Faith watched Tala run back to 'kudos' she was completely surprised at Tala. He was unlike any person she knew around here, except MC who was great. He didn't just judge her. 

            "You're something else Tala" She muttered.

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That's chapter 5 finished! Yay! Lol. 

Thanks to everyone, especially Nicky!!! (beygirl Nicky) You are great and we are mental home inmates? Is that what you call them? LOL!

Thanks to:

Everyone who read my fic from fierce, to pick a few

Mystical elf, Keira, Adreill and duh Nicky!

Tala, coppelia, miekkie, ryoki, keket, Lyn (by the way I know not all Courtney's are evil ^__^ but the one in my story is!) and soza cheers for reviewing.

Thanks also to crazy rei luva for MC, everyone loves your character and not forgetting Mira- cos she helped me with some ideas for future chapters.

Till next time, Review! Review! Review! Weeeeeeeee!


	6. confusion?

I know it has been a while since my last chapter was up… but hey I had exams and um ok, ok! It was Harry Potter too, lol. Anyway here is chapter 6!

**Chapter 6- Confusion?**

            There was a sharp rap on the door, which awoke Faith from her unrestful sleep. The door creaked open after a moment and her brother Callum walked across the floor and sat on the edge of her bed. Groaning Faith settled back onto her sweat filled sheets. 

            "It's six, two hours till we leave. Oh yeah, forgot to tell you, MC called earlier she said she was going to come around- well right now and she's bringing a mate or something." Callum went on prodding Faith in the side to awaken her.

            "Faith I'm really sorry about earlier, I never meant to be a jerk or anything" Callum spoke more seriously but then continued jokingly "but then again, never realised you _actually _had some potential"

Faith smiled, somehow when it was just her and Callum everything was great and she could really be herself.

            "Ha-ha, so witty" Faith replied sourly.

            "I heard about Tala asking you to Enrique's party" Callum sung in a teasing manner.

            "What, there is nothing going on between us" Faith defended.

            "Yet" Callum said smirking.

There was a murmur downstairs and soon footsteps came cluttering up the wooden steps. The door opened revealing two girls.

            "Hi" MC called cheerfully.

            "Ever heard of knocking?" Callum said sarcastically.

            "Yeah, obviously. How dumb are you?" The other girl with MC asked mockingly, a grin plastered on her bright face.

            The girl was about MC and Faith's age. A mop of messy, curly dark brown locks framed her friendly face and beneath a thicket of fringe were warm hazel eyes that stood out from her creamy skin. The girl was wearing a knee length denim skirt with a black top that had the words 'president of Loonyland population' printed in red. She had a few braids in her hair, a pair of sleek glasses that perfectly brought out her eyes and also had a pair of dangling smiley faced earrings hanging from her ears. 

            "Hello! You must be Faith, I'm Nicky" The girl greeted enthusiastically.

Faith felt a glow of happiness rush over her. From the instant she had met Nicky she already liked her. Nicky just had that welcoming aura surrounding her, unlike Courtney. 

            "Hey" Faith called back

            "What are you still doing in your bed? Sleeping! You have a date in less than 2 hours!" MC spoke clearly amazed at Faith.

            "Uhhh-" 

            "Ooh, Tala please don't be upset I turned up in my pyjamas" Callum teased, flouncing around the room, then smirked and continued, trying to mimic Tala, "Grrr, pyjamas, so sexy" He finished, whilst making kissing noises and motions in the air.

            "GET OUT!" Faith screamed, pouncing out of the bed, throwing her pillow at Callum, which landed square on Callum's face. If that wasn't enough, Faith kicked him from behind sending him sprawling out of the room and onto the landing. 

            "Brothers…" Faith spoke turning around to MC and Nicky "…are a pain in the ass!" 

            The door swung open once more, with an unusual looking Callum standing there. His lips were bright red covered in lipstick, poised in a pout. "Oh Tala!" He said seductively before running down the stairs. The three girls looked at each other, making sure they had actually seen that, then burst into fits of laughter on the floor.

Two hours later and Faith was standing on Enrique's porch waiting for the door to open. After an hour of MC forcing her to try on what seemed like Faith's entire wardrobe, Faith was finally dressed in a pair of burgundy flared trousers with a tight black short-sleeved top. Her hair had been placed into two loose ponytails and her head crowned with a hat. Tala stood next to her, along with MC, Rei, Nicky, Kai and Callum.

Tala was in conversation with Kai about what they would be performing. Nicky was getting impatient that no one could be bothered to open the door and _'accidentally' knocked over a pot plant. It smashed with a soft thud to the ground._

            "Oops" said Nicky sweetly.

            "I told you she was a nutter" Tala stated softly.

            "I heard that. And you think I'M A NUTCASE… I'm not the one with the red-double-spiked-birdlike-hair, mate"

            "Shut up!" Tala weakly retaliated, his face had turned a shade matching his hair. Nicky was grinning, knowing she had provoked Tala, 'This would be fun' she thought. But before she had time to irritate him further the door opened and the group were sucked into the hallway with the deepening sound of blaring music coming from all areas of the house. 

Streamers, balloons and glitter littered the floor and hung from the ceiling decorating the house. Tables were laid with a variety of snacks and drinks. Enrique ushered them into the back yard, where a mass of teenagers were gathered chatting, dancing and enjoying themselves. A stage had been set up at one end of the garden, where a microphone, drum kit and some amplifiers had already been kept ready.

            "Come on" Tala shouted above the noise, indicating the dance floor.

            "_ohh no._ I don't dance" Faith answered, a look of sheer horror etched on her face. 

            "Come on" Tala repeated.

Faith turned to look at the dance floor. Amongst the mass of moving bodies, she could make out Rei and MC dancing together. Nicky was sampling a bit of everyone, dancing with different partners every few minutes. Tala was now staring intently at her, taking her hand, he led her to a space on the patio. "Come on, it's fun!"

Faith glanced around quickly, looking for an escape route. Then she spotted the sullen looking Kai, sitting alone in the corner by the stage. 

"Why is he always like that?" She asked, nodding her head in the direction of Kai. Tala pondered for a moment then shrugged, "Nobody really knows exactly" 

"Are we going to dance or what?" Tala complained

"I guess… um…I could try" Faith said weakly. Just then a boy who Faith had never seen before bounded up to them.

"Tala, we have to go, it's time" He said coolly. 

"What! Now!" Tala cried out in exasperation, "Sorry Faith, time to get on stage" He mumbled to her. Faith sighed relief as the two boys headed to the stage.

Faith had made her way to the side, as MC pulled her back onto the patio nearest to the stage. Four people were on stage, three of whom Faith knew- Tala who was standing behind the microphone at the front with a guitar strapped around his shoulder. Nicky was seated behind a drum kit looking happier then ever. Kai was clutching a guitar but was stationed almost completely off stage in the shadows. The last boy was the one who had called Tala away from Faith. His hair was a reddish shade, styled in a flame like shape, above his small face. The boy had a mean expression pasted across his sharp features. MC pointed at the boy and said, "His name's Johnny"

            Tala had begun to talk into the microphone, "There's not much to say, except we're called Fierce and Everybody Rock on tonight!!!" with that each band member began to play their instruments. The atmosphere created was warmth to Faith. The sound of the music was resounding causing Faith's blood to pump faster. Tala's voice rose perfectly above the music, and the rest of the band played with amazing energy. Callum had joined Faith and was bobbing up and down with a beer in one hand. After a few songs, Faith was beginning to need air. Pushing past a few groups of people she made her way out of the side door in the garden. Faith smiled, she could still here Tala's voice singing out the words, 

_What follows me as the whitest lace of light just begs to be imbrued?_

_What follows will swallow whole._

_What follows has lead me to this place where I belong, with all erased._

… This definitely was turning out to be a fun night.

Meanwhile, on stage Kai had had enough. He removed his guitar off his shoulder and began to walk off stage. Johnny had cornered him and threateningly attempted to force Kai in staying. Kai however wasn't the least bit intimidated, he prominently snorted in Johnny's face and walked off. 

            "You can't just leave" Johnny was shouting, his temper rising.

            "Oh? Is little Johnny going to stop me" Kai asked menacingly. He knew he could be a pain sometimes and smirked, whatever annoyed Johnny McGregor had to be worthwhile. It wasn't as if Kai had actually wanted to come to these dumb parties, but he was dragged into them by his stupid band commitment. Deep in thought he walked to the side of the house and stopped in his tracks, due to a commotion coming from a few girls. He recognised one of the girls as Faith. Her face was set in a horrified expression, her eyes glazed with tears. The other girl was pink haired, Kai had not seen her before, and she also had a few friends around her. 'Should I go or watch?' Kai asked himself. He decided to watch.

Faith could barely see, her eyesight was blinded with furiously shame filled tears. Faith had been walking around when she had spotted Mariah, at the same time Mariah had noticed her. Mariah had laughed hysterically in Faith's face, turning to her friends and loudly saying, "Oh my god! It's that slut from school! My god she is such a whore! I wouldn't even touch her, she's probably diseased or something" and had swiftly turned on her heel laughing and talking about not wasting her time on crap. Faith's head was aching. This time she had been completely off guard. What was Mariah doing in Brunei? Questions swarmed through Faith's brain. Shame filled, Faith remained stuck to a spot, watching Mariah walk away. Why could she not just stand up for herself? She was always going to be 'the slut' that Mariah made her out to be, now even here, where she had actually made friends. Her heart raced as she caught sight of Tala coming out of the front door. Quickly she ran past him, but he caught hold of her shoulder. 

            "Faith, where are you going?" He asked completely puzzled, then seeing her watery eyes, soothingly attempted to comfort her. Pulling her close to himself, he ran his fingers through her dark silky hair. He then cautiously asked, "What's wrong Faith?" Faith pulled back and pushed past Tala. 'This was wrong, he thought she was a slut! He had probably seen Mariah, heard her nasty taunts and was now using this to his own advantage' Faith thought, facts and emotions mixed together swimming around her brain, which felt as though it was going to burst. She ran through the front gate, and out of sight, leaving a bewildered Tala utterly puzzled standing at the front of Enrique's house.  

**********************************

YEAH! Chapter 6 done. So review! You know what to do!! (hey that rhymes!) lol.

I have people to thank!

**Nicky: thanks for letting me use your character and thanks for all the help, you're a great person!**

**Mystical Elf: hope you like this chapter.**

**Adreill: I think you are on holiday- so you might have to read this after a while-wahhh.**

**Keira: see I updated- although not as fast as you!**

**Everyone else from fierce**

**Crazy Rei luva: Thanks again for MC, and tala with a guitar ^__^**

**Miekkie: cheers for reviewing- make sure you hurry and update your fic- can't wait!**

**Silver hope forever: So happy that you liked it- yaaaaay! (hope you like this chappie too)**

**Keket: thanks aswell, yeah I dunno how I thought of the idea of connection of the blades- I think Tyson was talking about it though in one of the episodes?**

**Coppellia: thanks for reviewing, yeah sometimes Kai scares me too!**

**Tala: here's an update, and haha, dunno if you noticed but I fitted like 2 lines of AFI in, I need to buy their album!!!**

**Ryoki: really glad that you like the fic! Yay you make me happy ^___^**

**Mira: thanks for reviewing and thanks for the help**

**Finally, Soza: my best mate, cheers and for the thing in the future chapter too! **


	7. Following the Phoenix

Here is chapter 7, thanks to all my reviewers.

**Chapter 7- Following the ****Phoenix******

            Faith awoke with a splitting headache, confused, alone, the way it always had been. Her head tilted towards the gloom outside, the air carrying misery. She glanced up, catching her reflection in the misty mirror. Her dark hair fell limply across her face, dull and plain. Her mouth that had been stuck in a small smile yesterday evening now sat in a frown on her lifeless and ashen face. Her grey eyes, which normally stared brightly back up at her, were now clouded with disbelief and a slight edge of fear.

            Again and again the thoughts of Mariah taunting her, laughing, cackling at her dominated her mind. 

            "I hate her" She let out weakly. It had sounded somewhat more powerful and forceful in her mind, but hearing it in the silent room, her voice was weak and shaky. She had to go out, clear her mind, talk to someone. "Talk to someone" She repeated aloud. "MC or Nicky" sighing in angst Faith pulled on some creased clothes that had been left lying on the floor, scraped her hair into a ponytail, shoved her aching feet into trainers and quietly slipped out of the house, heading to Rei's house hoping to find MC or Nicky. 

            Faith stood outside in the rain waiting for someone to open the door of the small apartment. As Faith was about to leave, the door snapped open. A very annoyed Kai stood behind the door. 

            "Yeah, What" Kai demanded impatiently.

            "Is MC or Nicky in?" Faith asked nervously.

            "No. Anything else" He replied rudely.

            "Forget it" Faith muttered in response, turning away.

            "Get in" Kai spoke after a moment, his voice clear with no feeling.

Dazed Faith stepped inside, warm air biting at her now cold face. There was a distant sound of music playing in one of the rooms, and the place smelt faintly of Vanilla and some manly scent. Unsure, Faith followed Kai into one of the rooms that appeared to be the lounge. 

            "You know…um…I think I should go" Faith stuttered, shivering slightly because of the standing in the cold too long. 

            "Sit" Kai merely ordered.

Faith obeyed, sitting on the edge of the leather sofa awkwardly. She watched as he poured some alcoholic liquid into a glass, then handed it to her.

            "This will help with the chill you have" He said unexpectedly, his attitude changing, his tone much lighter. Faith was taken aback. This guy was weird, one moment he couldn't care less, the next he was trying to be welcoming. Talk about a split personality, Faith thought. 

She took the glass from him, taking a sip. The liquid immediately penetrating through her, sending warm sparks inside her throat. 

"Why are you being so nice to me" Faith asked honestly.

Kai's eyes narrowed in sheer anger, he swivelled around looking Faith dead in the eye. 

            "You know when you talk like that, you make me sick. Ever since you've come here, you act like an animal waiting for someone to order you about, kick you, treat you like _dirt. _And you know when they do, you cry and whine as if you didn't deserve it" He spat.

Faith's eyes widened, who did Kai think her was? 

            "I, I don't deserve it" Faith replied, trying to sound bold.

            "You see, you're doing it again. I can hear it in your voice, you aren't even sure if you deserve it or not." He snorted. "Two words Faith, self respect. I've seen you. Don't think I haven't watched you. You go to pieces every time you see those girls, Courtney and that pink haired one. You let them walk all over you, just like _they own you_ or _they're above you_." Kai continued, gesticulating wildly his voice rising to almost a yell. 

Faith could feel his eyes burning into her skin as he stared at her, waiting for some answer.

            "You would _never _understand" Faith bit out, her voice filled with emotion. 

Kai's volume dropped as he replied. "No, you're right, I don't understand. I don't understand how someone like you, someone smart and clever could let people like them, who are just fake take advantage and control your whole life." Kai did not say anymore and the room was silent once more. 

Daringly Faith looked up, suddenly locking both grey cool orbs with fiery cold crimson ones. Kai had sat right in front of her, not speaking, just watching. The same eyes Faith looked at were the ones that had followed her on her first night in Brunei. Unable to keep contact, Faith shifted her gaze towards the window.

            "Don't look away" Kai growled no longer shouting but yet fully intimidating. "You should never be surprised when people treat you with respect. You should expect it" He touched his heart with his hand and went on, "Self belief Faith, if you trust yourself, put confidence in what you do, who you are, everything will become clear to you" 

As Faith drowned in the sea of darkness before her, Kai less then an inch away from her face and at that moment it was as though through his each breath of advice that passed through the small boundary between them that Kai had radiated his confidence to each corner of her body, infecting each cell.

His pupils softened and Faith watched as his clenched jaw relaxed before her. Kai's voice was barely a whisper now as he continued, "You are worthy Faith, never forget that. Worthy of anything. Don't let people fool you, especially not fake little bitches. You're not fake Faith, you're real, and I've seen it myself. You only smile when something actually amuses you, not just to make someone else happy. You do things for you. Remember that Faith, you will never lose if you have self belief. Never"  

Faith watched Kai's lips mouth the words to her as they were now centimetres away from her own. She could almost feel his thoughts, his eyes wandering over her own. The cold hard stare still in position, yet deep within the crimson fire, at the heart, Faith could tell the invisible barrier had shifted slightly, revealing a soft edge beneath the exterior. At that moment, it had taken Kai all his will power to not open himself up like a book, telling Faith of his similar sorrows. No he would not tell her. Information was a weakness as he had learnt. 

            The sound of a lock clicking open broke the tense silence in the room. Nicky popped her head around the door, "Hey you two" She called happily, moving back out of the door into the kitchen. Faith turned her attention back to Kai. His eyes were stone cold once again, glaring out of the window, fixed on a spot in the afternoon sky. He could see her watch him from the corner of his eye and did the same until she had left the room and was completely out of sight. 'Why am I helping her?' he questioned himself. 'Yes she is vulnerable and attractive too. Why am I getting involved in her problems? Is It because of what happened to me? No, I must follow Grandfather. Emotions are weak. I am not of that sort. So what if they are dead. It was merely fate and so I must live with that' He thought, emotions running through him freely, unstoppable. Turning his head towards the doorway Kai continued in his thoughts, 'I must forget about the past, what counts is now. Helping is for the weak, and so I must forget about you.'

*****************************************

Chapter 7 is done ^__^  now thanks to all my reviewers:

**Nicky: you have to review even if you are in ****Paris**** with Mr Oliver, and thanks for all the support.**

**Mystical Elf: now you know who was in the bushes. Hope you liked this chapter- and review! **

**Anyone else who read this from the Fierce site ^__^ thankies!**

**Soza****: Here's chapter 7 as promised, and yup I can't wait to use what you wrote! **

**Tala****: I am still recovering from the brain damage after you tackled me [growls in agony] and I bought the album, it does rock!!! AFI hell yeah!**

**Oh yeah and, kai and tala! Kai and tala! (for your fic I mean)**

**Coppelia****: Glad that you liked the last chapter, yeah Mariah is evil, I hate her. Hmm ****Bryan**** I could add him in, just for you ^__^ lol, that made me laugh as a butler! Imagine Bryan a butler! Hahaha!**

**Crazy Rei luva: Yep I'm going to continue this fic definitely. Next chapter Faith will go and talk to Tala, and I'm still going to put in a Rei/MC fluff scene in future chapters.**

**Axie****: [dudems looks in fear] am I sadistic? Noooooooooo, lol. Don't worry Faith will become happier and maybe even kick mariah's ass!**

**Miekkie****: I hate studying too! Its so crap, but yesss you are going to update [jumps around excited] **

**Sailor lain: yep someone is helping Faith with her low self esteem, glad you liked the chapter.**

**Well to all, till next time… ciao.**

**You all know what to do, REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! (and NO FLAMES)  ******


	8. hostile feelings

Here is chapter 8, for those of you who have been waiting. I am really sorry about not updating sooner, but evil writers block is to blame (I have suffered badly) 

**~Chapter 8 hostile feelings~**

            "Come on Nicky! We're going to be late" Kai growled from downstairs. Faith watched as Nicky winced, then continued frantically searching for her lost drum stick. "Shit, band practise starts in 30 seconds" Nicky muttered staring at her watch. Faith had decided to join Kai and Nicky to their practice in hope to have a chat with Tala and sort everything out. She felt a bit bad that she had just left him the night before. Tala really had been one of the only ones who she had considered to be a good friend since visiting Brunei.

Laughing Faith caught sight of the missing drum stick under a pile of clothes. Just as she was about to tell Nicky, Nicky opened one of the closet doors. The next thing Faith knew, Nicky was lying on the floor with an avalanche of items cascading on top of the helpless girl. Books, CDs, clothes and pens covered the girl. 

            "Hey Nicky, guess what I found?" Faith teased cheerfully.

By the time they had got downstairs Kai had gone, 'I really wanted to thank him as well' Faith thought. Kai had really boosted her confidence since the morning. 

            "What took you so long?" Johnny demanded furiously as soon as the two girls walked into the hall. "And where's that no good idiot?" Johnny continued. Kai rolled his eyes and Nicky glared at Johnny before answering back "Does it look like I have control over Tala or something, and who cares if he's a bit late!" 

Nicky's mouth twisted into a frown, 'sometimes he could really get annoying. Why was he always so cocky? As if he had never been late before' she thought. 

Just then the hall doors opened and a zombified looking Tala walked through them. One hand was pressed tightly against the side of his head, the other was dragging his guitar case across the polished floor, which was making loud scraping sounds, causing even Kai to grimace. The group's wincing was heightened by Tala's unusual appearance. His red hair hung down near his shoulders, un-brushed and messy compared to his usual gelled up hair. Tala's whole face was pale, with a slight tinge of green. His trademark wolfish smirk had been wiped off and was replaced by a frail tired look. As he neared sluggishly, Faith noticed that his normally sharp blue eyes were bloodshot and washed over with fatigue. Everyone stared at the lead vocalist. 

"T…Tala?" Nicky managed to stutter. 

"What?" He snapped back. 

Johnny whistled, "Man, you look like shit run over backwards!" 

Tala ignored the comment, his eyes wandering around the room. When they rested on Faith, he quickly turned back to Johnny, trying to avoid Faith's gaze. Nicky, now out of her trance spoke first, "Well we got a letter saying that we've been picked to perform for the town's 1st July celebrations. We don't have that much time to practise, what are we planning to play? We have a ten minute slot time"

            I want to play going to sleep" Tala muttered sarcastically, clenching onto the side of his head. Johnny stood up to talk, and Kai rolled his eyes again. "I think we should play something we are comfortable with. Nothing too loud, too heavy, or that has too much swearing in it, cos the oldies will have our throats" He suggested.

            "Let's just get this over with" Tala grunted.

Each of the band members began to play the introduction, Tala came in after the forth bar…

_"Walked away heard them say, "Poisoned hearts will never change"_

...and soon stopped. His voice was croaky and hoarse, completely out of tune. 

            "TALA, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?" Johnny yelled. 

            "Johnny would you stop yelling at me, my head is already hurting without your help, thank you" Tala complained.

            "THEN WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU TO GO AND GET FUCKING DRUNK, YOU KNOW IT FUCKS UP YOUR VOICE NOT TO MENTION YOUR HEAD!" Johnny continued, now shouting in Tala's face.

            "YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T HAVE TO STAND HERE AND LISTEN TO THIS CRAP. BLOODY HELL JOHNNY I'M HAVING AN OFF DAY. DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU, ARE YOU _THAT_ DUMB?" Tala angrily retorted. Johnny seemed to flip at this and lunged at Tala, pulling him up by the shirt. Tala, in no mood for niceties threw a fist directly at Johnny's nose, causing the other boy to stumble backwards with his nose beginning to bleed. A voice broke through the tension in the room stopping the small fight between the two boys. 

"Stop this fucking shit the two of you" Kai ordered. 

            "Whatever," Tala finished off. Carrying his guitar, he began to walk out of the hall. Faith could tell he was in a grouchy mood, but knew she needed to sort out the clear problem between herself and Tala. 

            "Tala wait" she called. 

The boy stopped and turned around to face her. "What do you want?" He spat out. 

            "I just came to explain about what happened last night" She pleaded. 

            "Oh, so you think that you can just come and talk and everything will be fine after you ditched me when I was trying to help you" He said sarcastically.

            "Help me! That's rich, especially after you saw what happened last night. After you heard what Mariah had to say, you just thought you could take advantage of me" She sniped back, anger boiling within.

Tala stopped and looked at Faith in confusion.

            "What are you talking about?" He asked Faith in bewilderment.

            "I'm talking about last night Tala. Fuck or were you _that_ drunk you don't even remember. I'm talking about you hearing Mariah call me a slut and a whore and then thinking you could take advantage of me and get laid" she bit back furiously. Tala stood utterly puzzled, confusion clear in his expression. "Faith I never wanted to take advantage of you" He started slowly, "I mean I never even heard this Mariah girl, and I thought we were meant to be friends? I thought you could trust me Faith" Tala said quietly.

Faith sighed inwardly with exasperation. All that hassle just for a misunderstanding. Tala grinned for the first time that day and grabbed Faith's hand, "Come on" he told her enthusiastically, she followed him to his car and as he started the car she questioned him, "Where are we going?"

            "You'll see it's a surprise" He replied, his wolfish smirk returning faintly at Faith's raised eyebrows.

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READ AND REVIEW NOW! (no flames)

Sorry I think that was a bit of a short chapter. Anyway on to thank the reviews!

**Nicky:** thank you so much for all the support with this story (I didn't think I would last 7 chapters!) and thanks for letting me use your character too!

**Elfy****: you are also a great help with my fic, for keeping me laughing with our other fanfic in progress ^__^**

**Bickabee****: glad you liked the story so far, you must read more!**

And thanks to anyone else from fierce who has read this.

**Crazy Rei luva:** Another great person, who has helped me out a lot, and let me use her character MC!  Review! And dudems promises you a rei/mc fluff scene- soon.

**Miekkie****: thanks for reviewing, and please don't hurt me for making Tala punch Johnny. Hehe, (dudems hides)**

**Coppellia****: cheers for reviewing, hope you liked this chapter, and I'm really touched that my last chapter helped you. And I will promise to fit Mr Bryan in somewhere ^__^**

**Tala****: (dudems is apologetic) sorry for whacking you around the head, but see I let you beat up Johnny (bwahahahha, Johnny bashing) and yep this celluloid dream is the best song on the whole album, I agree.**

**Soza****: thanks for helping me out with this chapter ^__^**

**Sailor lain:** lol, good question…you will find out in later chapters… keep reading and reviewing!

**Ryoki****: thanks for liking the fic so far, it's great to know you like what I'm writing, anyway keep reading!**

**Darkai****: really! Faith is your name? Lol, cool, thanks for reviewing!**

**Mira:** cheers for reviewing, and for helping me with the chappies!

**Shinigami****-Mimi: glad you liked it! Yay, new reviewer! Lol, keep reading ^__^**

**Lil**** Miss me: wahhh, I have no vacation, I mean yeah no school, but I'm not going anywhere! And thanks for reviewing, I will go back and continue reading your fic now that I'm freeeeeeeeee!**


	9. Tala's Field

Firstly, sorry for not updating sooner and thanks to all those of you who reviewed, it really is my inspiration. 

Not wasting any time…here's chapter 9

Chapter 9~ Tala's Field (A/N- it's continuing from faith and tala in the car)

            "So at this surprise place, what are we going to do?" Faith questioned Tala, seeing that he wouldn't tell her the slightest information of where they were going.

            "Dunno, just what friends do I guess, you know hang out or whatever. What do you do with your friends back home?"

Faith gulped at this, "I don't have any friends" she said plainly.

Tala eyed Faith closely, "But, everyone has friends" he stated cautiously. 

            "Yeah well not me" Faith replied her voice beginning to show hints of annoyance.

There was a short silent hiatus, before Tala spoke again, "Sometimes, they aren't worth it" He clenched his fists, his lip curling into a frown. Faith watched his expression change; it was obvious he was thinking about Johnny.

            "So, got any music" Faith asked, attempting to lighten the conversation.

            "Sure" Tala hit a switch on the tape-deck and loud lively pop music began to play, _"oh Mickey you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind, hey Mickey!"_

Faith grimaced at the sound, and Tala quickly turned it off.

            "That Baka Max has too much sugar and then ends up listening to this stuff" Tala grumbled, shaking his head in disgust. "There's a bag on the back seat, take your pick from inside"

Faith reached for the bag while Tala pulled out and began to drive up the main road. Rummaging through what seemed to be over a hundred CDs; Faith caught sight of a plain black and white cover. 'The Fake Sound of Progress' she read. They were stopped at a light and Faith continued to read the track titles, unaware of her surroundings. 

All of a sudden a loud continuous 'beep' came from beside her. Tala had tried to rest his head on the steering wheel, but by mistake had banged his head leaning directly on the horn instead. In front of the car, an old lady who had been crossing slowly with her Zimmer frame had now fallen over in complete shock from the deafening noise. Tala sat up groggily, a hand placed on his head where it was most likely paining. The old woman stood herself up after a moment, her wrinkled face was creased in an enraged expression, slowly she made her way in front of the car, stuck her middle finger up directly at Tala and screeched out some abuse.

"Bloody Loony" She yelled out as the lights changed to green.

Faith smirked, "Do you always attract this much attention Tala" she asked mockingly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

            They had been driving for almost an hour without stopping, unless you could count the few times Tala pulled over for what he called a 'pit-stop' basically to throw up. Faith sat crossed legged tapping her finger against the glass. Confined spaces seemed to make her restless. Tala noticed this, "Restless are we?" He asked, his red eyebrow quirking upward in amusement. "Don't worry we're here now anyway" 

Tala parked the car underneath a large oak tree and beckoned Faith to follow him. They walked until they came to a clearing, with a small lake and hardly and people in sight. 

            "You drove all the way out here, to just sit on a field!" Faith asked, scratching her head. 

            "Hey, it's _my _field!" Tala protested.

Faith snorted jokingly. 

            "Plus, across there, they always have a fair" Tala explained, pointing in the correct direction.

            "Rides!" Faith said, her grey eyes sparking at the mention of a fair. "So come on then" Faith quickly got up and began running in the direction of the fair, with Tala protesting behind her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

            "I officially feel sick!" Tala stated.

            "Hmm, a night of binge drinking _and going on a rollercoaster six times __does tend to have that effect." She mused. Laughing at Tala who was swaying slightly due to his sickness, Faith realised she was definitely having a great time. Tala was completely laid back, especially when he was away from the others. He also seemed to spread his calm nature to Faith, she felt relaxed and at ease._

They passed a stand where a stocky bearded man was shouting at passers by. "See if you're the strongest! Come and beat our record! Hit the hammer on the target!" Then he noticed Tala and Faith, "Come on red, you think you got what it takes eh? Only $2"

Faith nudged Tala, "Yeah, come on _red_ let's see what you're made of"

            "Firstly Lady, I am tala not red" Tala replied jokingly whilst counting off the points on his hand, "and secondly, I could do that in my sleep"

            The man handed Tala the hammer, and Tala held it high above his head before bringing in down in one swift movement, where it crashed, sending the gauge flying up above the target. 

_Ding Ding Ding Ding _

            "Hey kid, you won this teddy" The man declared, handing Tala a pink fluffy teddy bear. 

Tala grimaced then muttered something about stereotypes, whilst he and Faith began to make their way back to 'Tala's field'

            "You know I think I'll name this teddy Boris" 

            "Why?" Faith asked

            "Because it look like a friggin' tramp on steroids, just like he does*" 

Faith just nodded although she had no clue of who this Boris was.

            "You know, I ought to get some sort of award seeing as I broke that record. You know I'm so strong, and tough and masculine" Tala cockily repeated for what was the fifth time now.

Faith grinned evilly.

            "Oh you are. Really. Well let's just see how tough you are then." With that she pushed him into the lake they had been standing beside. Tala let out a yell of surprise, whilst Faith smirked triumphantly.

Tala stood in the lake, the water almost reaching his neck.

            "Come on, a little help here" he called to Faith whilst holding out his wet hand. Faith paused for a moment before pulling on his hand to help Tala up. Tala seeing his chance and being the stronger of the two, dragged Faith head first into the lake.

Faith gasped for air as her head came out of the water.

            "YOU! ARE GOING DOWN!" Faith screamed, spraying more water over Tala.

All of a sudden, Tala stopped fighting and held a finger to his mouth as a motion for Faith to stay quiet. "Do you hear that?" Tala whispered.

Faith listened closely. There was the soft sound of quacking coming from nearby.

            "DUCKS! NO!" Tala yelled in outburst his face full of horror. Quickly he jumped out of the way of the duck behind him and tried to hide behind Faith.

            "What are you doing Tala?" Faith asked completely confused.

            "The duck, it's after me, I hate them" Tala whispered urgently, looking around paranoid for any duck accomplices. 

Faith began to laugh uncontrollably, "It's only a duck Tala" 

            "Stop laughing, it's not funny" Tala whined, whilst still looking from side to side. 

            "I think it is. Quack Quack" she teased. Tala groaned whilst pulling himself out of the water, Faith following behind.

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            Much later, just after midnight, the car reached back in Brunei.

"Come inside Tala, just for a while" Faith pleaded. Tala nodded and waited patiently on the doorstep while Faith fumbled with her keys.

"I can't stay long though" he warned. 

"Why? Its not like you have anywhere to go anyway" she said.

"You know, I do _actually have a house to go home to" he replied sarcastically._

"Really!" Faith retorted, her voice filled with fake surprise.

Tala just shook his head as Faith began to laugh at her own joke. Both of them stepped inside the warm house, only to find a dozen pairs of eyes staring at them. Faith wondered for a moment as to why everyone was staring at them, but then realised that they were completely drenched from head to toe. They must have looked a mess.

"You two make such a cute couple" The girl who Faith remembered to be Noleé spoke out.

Both Tala and Faith looked at each other for a second before bursting into laughter.

"Me and Tala, you've got to be joking, right!" Faith said grinning.

"Yeah Callum, your sister's mad, she pushed me right into this lake" Tala informed them, whilst playfully pushing Faith.

"At least I'm not the one afraid of ducks" she retorted.

Faith caught eye-contact with Courtney. She was eyeing Faith in utter distaste, but for once Faith felt nothing. No shame. Instead her thoughts were brought back to the morning and her talk with Kai. She glanced over to the boy sat in the corner, not expecting him to be staring robotically at her.

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            Darkness surrounded the park. The only light which shined down on the couple walking up the empty path was from the moon. The boy sat down on a nearby swing, the light breeze blowing through his ebony hair. He patted his lap in motion to the girl.

            "Come and sit, I won't bite…unless you want me to" He said slyly breaking the unearthly silence.

The girl flicked her blonde hair aside and threw a dirty look towards the neko. "Stop being so seductive Rei" She warned softly, positioning herself upon the Chinese teen. 

He chuckled at the comment and wrapped his arms around MC protectively. 

"You know we've been together for so long Rei" MC started, but cut herself off after feeling the Neko tense. "Don't worry Rei, you can relax, I don't expect anything from you" 

Rei stroked MC's hair in affection, "I guess I'm just not that good at keeping relationships normally. But you really mean a lot to me MC" He responded shyly, blushing slightly although this went unnoticed. 

Slowly, he ran his fingers delicately down MC's side, resting his hand upon her hip. MC let out a small sigh at the feeling and smiled coyly.

"So you like that do you" The boy whispered into her ear.

            Golden orbs met cloudy blue ones. Their lips moved closer together, pausing before they met. Touching gently and then melting into one another passionately. Their hands searching and then finding, caught in a heated embrace. The young lovers remained lip locked, underneath the starry sky, sitting upon the moving swing, watched from the girl in the window above.

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Ok that's another chapter wrapped up. Firstly I would like to thank Emily bee for letting me use the sentence marked with the (*) thanks! ^__^

CRL that was the fluff scene you wanted to read.

Nicky for being a great inspiration with all the v.coke! and Elfy too with your mad idea's every day! Keira too and everyone from fierce.

I love all you reviewers because you're awesome people. ^__^

In no order:

-Kuroi Neko (happy birthday for 20th)

-Sailor Lain (tala perky. Lol what has the world come to eh!)

-coppelia (I woke up and dark star was after me, gah, get it away! So I updated. I'll pass on the cheese, mind you I wouldn't mind a cookie)

-Arcia (yup kai is trying to help, dunno how long that's going to last ^__^)

-axie ( faith is upset cos you poked her. Faith: *pokes back and Bryan will be coming sooneth)

-Tala (doesn't everyone look like that in the morning, gah. Johnny deserved it)

-kai-baby (thanks, don't kill me but that walking talking food disposal might show up..maybe..maybe not)

-Arcada (danke, and I know it was short last chappie)

-lil miss me (gah! Shaving lee's head! Get away! Don't go near lee he is contagious!)

-miekkie ( bwahhaha, yes Johnny is going down…soon…very soon)

-krixel (I loved your review! ^__^)

Not forgetting, Mira and soza


	10. salty tears

Chapter 10- Salty tears 

**(I know its been long awaited! And I'm sooo sorry for the major wait, but school, exams and homework have stopped me from updating, hope you leave me a review)**       

Nicky sat herself down on one of the outside benches in front of Kudos, waiting for the two who were supposed to meet her. Although the sky was dull and grey and there was a strong breeze about that ruffled through her dark brown curls, she enjoyed sitting despite the not so great weather. Glancing around, her eyes landed upon the gritty restaurant window. It was covered in a thick layer of grime, partly because of the lack of suitable staff. Inside the restaurant, leaning against the coffee machine was Courtney on her regular shift, flicking through a Vogue magazine and ignoring the few customers that were about. Nicky rolled her eyes; the girl got paid for not even working, and lately she was worse than usual. Whenever Callum was in sight, she would stroll off and leave Noleé to cover for her. As Nicky peered around in search of her companions a strong gust of wind caused her to pull her parka tighter around her body. Dozens of white sheets blew up the cobbled off-street and scattered about the ground. Running furiously behind them was the familiar swing of long ebony hair. Rei was hurriedly attempting to gather the papers that had blown away. Nicky nodded at the Chinese teen that had made a beeline for her. Casually she picked up the saltshaker and trapped a few white sheets that had landed on her bench refusing them to escape, it was one of the skills she had mastered after long hours in the arcade. 

          Rei walked over to the wooden bench and plopped himself down next to Nicky, who was busily scanning the fliers with interest.

          "They're still doing those lame events! That'll ruin the band's slot, stupid mayor!" She commented, a little heatedly, half looking up at the amber eyes that were peering down at her. 

In response Rei shrugged, "Check this flier out, they're planning to do this stupid beyblade tournament for amateurs, that'll be a load of crap aswell"

          Behind Rei, the trio of boys approached. Johnny being his usual jerk-like self decided to damage a few of Rei's brain cells and attempted to whack the large folder he was carrying dead centre of the boy's skull. However Rei being highly trained in martial arts, shot out of the way, leaving Johnny sprawled over the table from the force. 

          "Hehehe, looks like the great McGregor's lying down on the job again!" Nicky mused; both her and Tala bursting into hysterical laughter and even Kai cracked a smile. As soon as Johnny stood up, his violet eyes flashed in humiliation and this seemed to make the group laugh harder. 

          "Gottcha!" Rei shouted, patting the flame haired boy on the back. This did not go well with the hot head and his humiliation soon turned into burning rage as he lunged forward in another attempt to get revenge on Rei. Rei reading his friend, quickly sprinted away, with Johnny tailing not far off behind him.

          Watching the two boys run off down the street, Tala, Nicky and Kai set back to what they had called the meeting for.

          "Let's get this done before McGregor gets back," Kai growled. He had a particular hatred for Johnny's authoritarian act and always enjoyed watching the boy fail in being the lead figure. The only reason he put up with him was because there was no better bassist in Brunei, except Nicky, but then she was the drummer so they were left with Mr-I'm-the-best-in-the-world.

          Tala and Nicky stopped doing re-enacts of the scene that had occurred minutes before and turned their attention to the bluenette.

          "So what are we going to be doing then?" Tala asked.

For a moment, the three went quiet, lost in thought but then surprisingly, Kai spoke up and gave an idea that led to excitement and nodding amongst the band members. 

          "Having fun without me then!" a raspy voice sounded from behind. Johnny had returned. He looked exhausted and very annoyed. Sitting down, he started to speak again, "So what are we going to be doing then?"

          All three smirked, then Nicky spoke up, innocently, "Oh sorry Johnny, but we've already decided"

Johnny's face began to turn red and through gritted teeth managed to choke a, "It's ok, what are we doing then"

          Again, Nicky spoke in a sweet voice, her head tilted to one side, penguin earrings shaking softly and yet her eyes glinting quite evilly "Actually _Kai _decided what we should do" emphasising on the word Kai.

          Johnny's face washed over in pure hatred as he glared openly at the tall leader, although this seemed to amuse Kai even more. Immediately, Johnny stood up and muttered an angry response and walked off. Kai nodded his head, as though having accomplished something whilst Tala and Nicky high-fived in unison. As if on cue, Courtney placed a tray of shakes and cookies on the table but without a word, turned and left.

          After a moment of silence, Nicky's eyes brightened with a new idea, it was no secret that her and Tala, although friends had made it tradition to tease and fight no matter what the situation. Cocking her head to one side, Nicky laughed out loud, receiving raised eyebrows from Tala. From what Nicky could see, Kai couldn't care less and was busy listening to his personal stereo, unaware of the conversation that was about to unfold. 

          "So Tala" Nicky started, her voice hinting a slight edge of mischievousness.

          "What is it this time, penguin lover?" He taunted in return, his mouth twitching as though he knew the brunette was about to stir some trouble.

          "Well since you've already brought up the topic…" she smirked, twisting Tala's own words to suit herself, Tala's face paled slightly, with a look of confusion in his eyes, seeing this Nicky continued, "Don't think I haven't seen you staring!"

          Tala's eyes widened in surprise, "What…what are you talking about?" he asked, stuttering slightly, he hadn't been expecting that.

          Nicky's lips curves to one side in superiority, not waiting any longer she spilt out the one word that killed all suspicions, "Faith"

          The red head's jaw literally dropped in complete shock, he had been expecting his friend to have uncovered the secret he had been hiding from everyone all year, thinking that he had some crush on Faith was too far off the mark and he began to laugh, softly at first and then harder at the thought. Nicky's eyebrow quirked in confusion, she tugged at her black lace top, unsure of what the boy in front of her was laughing about.

          "Uh…Tala, reality check? What are you laughing about?"

Tala, unwilling to answer the question got up and began to walk away from the table, which led to even Kai looking up from his book in wonder.

          _'If only you knew Nicky, if only you knew who I really was'_

**********************************

          A few hours later and the whole group except for Kai who was missing, were busily putting up banners and decorations around the stage that was to be used for the following day.

          Faith looked around, watching everyone, she was sat on the stage not bothered to help the rest. Everyone had been caught up with their own issues, Johnny, had been plotting to get revenge but hadn't put anything into action, Tala had been avoiding talking to anyone the whole day, Nicky kept eyeing Tala suspiciously, Kai was absent and Rei and MC were probably the only two that were acting 'normal'

          Just as the bored girl was about to get up and help, she caught sight of a tall figure walking towards them, it was undoubtedly Kai, yet no one had caught sight of him yet. He looked unusually different, his face was paler, and his mouth was set in a thin line and his expression more serious than usual. What surprised Faith most of all was that he appeared somewhat weaker; warily he stood to the side of the stage. It was just as Faith was about to look away that she caught the white patch stuck on his forehead, hidden under the mop of greyish blue hair. 

          "What happened?" she called out, barely above a whisper, but it wasn't necessary for it to be any louder because Kai turned around.

          "Nothing, just forget it" he replied, and the jet haired girl was about to persist when Johnny interrupted the small conversation with his sneering.

          "So Hiwatari, you actually managed to drag your sorry butt here then, why don't you just get on like a good little dog" the flame haired Scot mocked.

Kai turned his back and began to walk away, completely ignoring the boy taunting him.

          "Did your little doggy friends hurt poor Hiwatari?" He continued talking at the boy's back. Faith watched the scene before her; she had assumed that Kai would keep walking, but the claret eyed boy stopped in his tracks, she saw his head slightly dip downwards, something she was used to doing herself at times of hardship. But Faith could not understand why it was affecting Kai of all people. He was the strong one. He was the one who had talked to her about her confidence. The boy turned around to face Johnny, but Johnny had done a Kai and had stalked off. Kai was left facing the worried girl looking down at him. She jumped down off the stage and walked up to Kai, without a second hesitation she pushed his hair up and touched the band-aid that covered part of his right forehead. Part of it was stained in bright red, obviously blood that had seeped through.

          "Let go of me," he growled, his scarf blowing behind him from the wind around.

          Quickly, the dark haired girl removed her hand, and his bangs fell back down upon his pale face, recovering the position it had before and hiding the white plaster. As soon as her hand reached her side, he had turned and walked away, finding some decorations to busy himself with.

          Faith had not given up however, and followed Kai to where he was standing. Just as she was about to call him, MC bounced up to her, her blonde hair had been cut into a spiky layered bob, and was tied up loosely. Faith smiled, MC had been happier than usual in the few days that had gone past, Faith realised that it must have been something to do with Rei. After a few small questions about colour schemes, the girl jogged off to join her boyfriend across the stage.

          Faith turned her attention back to Kai, he still hadn't noticed her, but something caught Faith's grey eyes which made her catch the words that were about to escape her mouth and instead remain silent. She watched him carefully, unsure if she had seen correctly, but then he bent over again and there it was, the whole way across his smooth pale back laid a deep cut slashed and marked, something that had to be done with a sharp blade. She remembered going to the hospital with her mother once, her mother had been a nurse, and she had experienced and witnessed the consequences of sheer violence. Could Kai have involved himself in a fight? It was unlike him, yet Faith could not feel positive that he hadn't had a fight. But first thing was first, Kai's cut needed to be stitched there was no doubt about it or she could just see the infection that would embody itself inside the cut.

          Softly she called out his name, he turned around once more but turned back as soon as he knew it was her. "I don't mind if you don't tell me about what happened Kai, but its important, your cut it could get infected if you don't clean it and get some medical help, I should know! My mother was a…"

          Sharply he cut her off, "I don't give a fuck what your mother was, just leave me alone. This has nothing to do with you"

          Hurt by Kai's cruel statement, Faith turned and walked away. Her eyes blurred with the slight moistness of tears welling. She could have tolerated taunting, could have tolerated Mariah and her name calling, but her mother was a different matter. She would have expected Courtney or Mariah to say something so harsh but for Kai, her mentor, her guider to slice her heart with those mean words was too much. Slowly she walked away in slight despair, not seeing or knowing where she was going, almost like her first night at Brunei. Almost and yet not quite the same. Because strong arms found her waist and guided her back to Rockmore Drive. The few comforting words filtered through her ears, yet she wasn't listening, wasn't caring. She only wanted the comfort of her four walls and the comfort of pure isolation.

As she calmed down nearby her house, she looked up into the cerulean eyes of Tala, which were filled with warmth and caring. Caring for her. He took her into a tight embrace and her salty tears wiped onto his face. Impulsively she pressed her lips to Tala's as if believing that was what he wanted. Tala's face registered shock and he pulled back almost immediately.

          "I…I can't…you don't understand" he stuttered, urgently looking at Faith's upset face, "Faith I shouldn't have kept it from you, but you have to understand no one knows, I never told them, they'll never look at me the same. I trust you, you're my friend, you have to know the truth…I'm gay"

*************************************************

**Well that's chapter 10, hope you enjoyed it and hope you're getting into the story now! ^__^ Leave me a review please, I'd be really really grateful, I don't mind constructive criticism either, so if there was anything you didn't like let me know, I like to hear both sides.**

**NOTE: I FORGOT TO SAY THAT ANY OF YOU YAOI HATERS, DON'T WORRY BECAUSE IT ISN'T MAJOR YAOI ITS JUST THE THEME OF HOMOSEXUALITY AND HOW TALA FEELS UNSURE OF WHAT HIS FRIENDS WILL SAY ETC. **

**I'd like to thank my reviewers,**

**Thanks to, Nicky (scarlet diamonds) especially (read her fics they're great) you have really kept me going with writing.**

**Elfy and all the people at TNK –new fanfics moderator too!**

**Tenma koneko, soza, ****AzN*PyRo*ArCaDa, CRL, whisper, coppelia, Arcia, Kai-Baby, keira, Ryoki, Mira, Faith 007, Dark Ice Dragon, CC Queen O Death Destruction, Jhaylin, F.A Star Hawk.**

**You all rule! Plus I'll be adding more Mariah etc. next chapter!**

**Woo! Leave a review! *Gives marshmallows out ***

**=dudems=******


	11. fighting the past

**Chapter 11- Fighting the past**

The words echoed through Faith's mind, freezing thought, emotion and time. It seemed as though the clock, just for that split second has slowed to minutes. Eyes wide and face caught in a horrified expression, she couldn't move, couldn't think. All her emotions had been removed from her and had suddenly rushed back in surprise. A swarm of memories replayed, and consequence was playing its toll.

          Blinking a few times she realised Tala was still staring at her, waiting and anticipating her thoughts. Nervously he scuffed his shoe on the gravel path, his lip pink from biting it with anxiety. After seeing Faith's reaction, his head fell limply in disgrace and despair.

          Faith watched the boy's expression change, but watch was all she could do. She wanted to speak, wanted to know, and suddenly had the urge to comfort. Yet want was not enough and no words escaped the unusual prison of her throat.

          The awkward silence between the two seemed to grow rapidly as the seconds passed. Unpleased, Tala muttered something after a while, and began to walk away. He had managed to take a few shaky steps when Faith's pleading voice stopped him, "Please, Tala wait"

          It had taken the girl a while to choke out those few words, and her grey eyes saddened as she heard the response the boy had given, "Maybe I…shouldn't have told you" he had said, mostly to himself, a sad smile forming on his colour-less face, although he knew she wouldn't' see it because he had not had the courage to turn around and confront her solemn look.

          "Tala, you're wrong…I'm glad you told me" Faith replied quietly staring at the back of his hooded jumper. Even then the boy did not turn around, and Faith, deciding to give him a moment alone turned to the open front door. "Come inside when you're ready" she said quietly, before stepping onto the carpeted hall, and disappearing inside.

          Faith had allowed her feet to guide her to the dull kitchen. The atmosphere was dark and gloomy as it had been outside and because of the lack of light the cupboards loomed down on her weak frame and the fishes painted delicately on the sky-blue tiles seemed to glare angrily at her, watching her every move.

          The click of the front door, and the soft padding sound heading towards the kitchen tore her eyes away from the fish and she busied herself by filling up the kettle, her face purposely turned away from the kitchen entrance. Yet when Tala appeared at the door, silently and unspoken, she knew he was there, could feel him in a way that was uncertain to her as well.

          The room had filled with a small amount of warmth that had been missing moments before. 

          "How about some hot chocolate?" she asked, playing with a lock of silky dark hair, and breaking the darkened silence that had emerged once again. Tala nodded and muttered a positive response.

          Faith, finding herself with nothing more to do, finally found the courage to face the boy, but Tala was not paying attention. He was lent against the plastered blue wall, his eyes closed and his red hair falling limply next to his eye-lids.

          Watching him closely, she could see the turmoil he was suffering and a pang of guilt settled in her mind. Why had she been so selfish? He was her friend, there was no difference in him, in fact she was seeing the boy in a while new light. The care-free, outgoing blue-eyed young man had his problems, yet he had always gone out of his way to help her, and this was how she had repaid him?

          All of a sudden, the loud whistle from the kettle sounded and steam erupted from the spout, awakening Tala. His eyes opened, revealing a sea of glumness and the icy flame that usually burned within as now blown out in dejection. As orbs met, there was no longer shock or surprise, masks and disguises had been shattered and all that was left was the understanding of two friends.

          "I'm sorry Tala, sorry about my reaction, sorry about my impulsive behaviour, sorry about everything" the slender female apologised barely above a hoarse whisper, yet still holding eye-contact.

          A moment passed before Tala spoke, he had wanted his speech to come out flawless, but was still unsure of how he should express his feelings. Knowing that his friend had made several attempts to talk, he knew it was time to explain.

          Settling down on the comfortable couch the two were ready. One ready to listen, the other prepared to talk. And although Tala had been dreading the moment of truth, since he had discovered his true-form, he was no longer as tense as he had been five minutes before, and perhaps relief of draining a hefty secret from his chest was beneficial after all. 

          Directing his attention back to Faith, who was waiting intently for him to begin, he started his long explanation of truth.

          "This is a long story" he warned sighing, but Faith remained listening and so he continued, "See, I'm from Russia, I was born there and raised in a special Abbey for orphans. I lived at this Abbey, adopted by a man called Boris, who was the Abbey leader. We respected what he told us, followed whatever rules he set out and believed in whatever we were forced to believe." He paused to check the girl was listening, which she was.

          "Russia followed the Eastern Orthodox Church, so naturally so did Boris, and therefore so did I. We prayed everyday, read the bible and followed the teachings of the Church strictly." He laughed suddenly, an outburst of emotions surprising the dark haired girl.

          "Sanctimonious I tell you, fucking sanctimonious that man, Boris, that bastard" he spat, "always punished us for any kind of blasphemy, any kind of sin, and kind of feeling! Look at this Faith" he spoke full of passion, pulling up his top and showing Faith his back. There two large red scars remained crossing over his deathly white skin. 

          "You know what they did to me? We had a team battle once, and my team won, I hugged my partner, wound my arms around him, that's all, do you know how I suffered, Faith? Those guards, those damn bastard guards, they put me up in front of all the kids in the abbey, Boris watching, sneering at me. I was only ten Faith, just ten. They stripped the clothes off my torso, tied a thick leather belt around my waist to cover my kidneys. Two guards stood next to me, holding large whips, the kind they used on the horses. The crack sounded and the rush of pain I felt I'll never forget, the guards whipped me in a crossing motion, so I couldn't escape the pain. I took that first beating, didn't make a sound, didn't cry, didn't show emotion" he took a deep breath, closing his eyes savouring the garish memory.

          "Boris stood up, and pointed at me so all the boys could see. He called me a Satan worshipper, told me I was diseased because I possessed what he called the 'homosexual gene' he insulted me, he took away my dignity and he warned all the others to not get involved with me. All because of a hug, aren't people allowed to show their feelings? No! Boris didn't think so. The dreaded order followed- thirty whips. Perhaps horses have thick skin Faith, but a mere ten year old boy doesn't, not thick enough to be whipped like an animal.

All I can remember is up to the tenth whip, blood pools around my feet, Boris yelling to whip harder, eyes intently watching me, but all the voices were drowned out by screams, screams that I didn't even know were coming from me."

          Faith studied his form; a single tear clung entwined between his eyelashes, slowly making its way down his pale cheek. Her gaze shifted to his lap, his fingers clenched into tight fists, his knuckles almost white and his body shaking with emotion. 

          He inhaled suddenly, his heart raced faster, pounding harder, trying to rid the lump forming in his throat, but nausea washed over him. His eyes grew wide with fear, his pale fingers clenching at Faith's arms in despair. She wrapped her arms around the boy protectively; his head nestled dependently on her shoulder. Calmly she stroked his back, tracing the marks of his past. Tears spilled freely from his clouded blue eyes, washing away the pain and grief. The room remained silent; the only sound was coming from the choked sobs, which escaped the boy.

**I would like to thank all the great people that reviewed last chapter! I thought you would have all forgotten breakdown, but I'm going to try my best to update ASAP now, (ok ryoki 1-lol) (and I know it was an angsty chapter-*sigh* poor tala!)**

**Firstly, to Nicky (scarlet diamonds)- (go read her fics, they rock) thank you so much for all the support and being there through all the chapters be them bad or good. To elfy for always reading every chapter, and those at tnk too. To mira who has had to put up with me reading my drafts over and over until the words are probably oozing out of her brain and soza who doesn't even like beyblade but reads this for me.**

**Those who reviewed last chapter- Ryoki (yah kai is getting evil!), Coppelia (seriously your fic rocks, and I promise ****bryan**** will come soon enough!), Light*death*paranoia- (thanks so much), Faith-007 (even if you are mad at me), Dark ice Dragon- (I tried to upload as fast as possible!), tenma koneko (more twists to follow), kai-baby(thanks and yep I updated), F.A star hawk (thanks), White wolf spirit (haha you'll have to wait to see more on kai!), Life of tears (yup yup, poor tala), Azn*pyro*arcada (thanks for telling me what you liked, it really helps!^__^) whisper*2*imaginary (bwahaha Johnny torture=good, but tala torture=bad)**

**And to any of you reading that don't bother reviewing-lol!**

**Please review some more, more reviews= faster update! **


	12. control

**Firstly I would like to apologise for how late this is, enjoy though! **

**Chapter 12**

Soft pinks and oranges fused in the evening sky as the sun set slowly. The faint light that remained melted through the large glass window of the front room and onto the two silhouettes, a girl and a boy sat closely in the spacious living room.

The boy rested lightly on the girl's shoulder, his breathing shallow as he drifted through a world of unconsciousness. The girl on the other hand was awake, how could she sleep after all…her thoughts were stuck on what Tala had recounted, just like a scratched record that kept repeating the same sentence over and over. Dwelling…again and again, but then that was always one of Faith's bad habits, to dwell a little more than the next person.

She winced as Tala shifted; leaving her shoulder tingling with numbness but a small smile soon formed upon her pink lips as she caught sight of his face. Although his skin was the same chalky shade, the pained expression he had worn hours before had been replaced with serenity, perhaps an expression so calm that she had never seen it upon his almost perfect face before. She gazed at him, eyes held in admiration and caught in the trance of his tranquillity and stillness.

It was in fact admiration, which she felt for him as she studied him. Admiration for struggling with and conquering the abuse that he had experienced. Leaning back and taking a deep breath she brushed aside her mass of dark locks, trying to not linger on the thoughts of her own past, her own pains of the insensitivity of society but it was almost impossible. The dark shadow formed as a thick knot tightening in her throat.

_"No matter what…the pain will never go"_

Tala stirred suddenly, yawning and then nuzzling more into Faith's warm shoulder. His long fingers reached up to his eyelids as he began to rub vigorously. After a few scratches red eyes emerged blending with the natural blue. It had seemed to Faith at that point that although the boy looked seemingly peaceful, his eyes exposed the pain, which his smile tried to hide.

"Don't play with your eyes, they're going to get more bloodshot," she warned breaking the quaint silence that had formed.

Tala moaned in response, "Can't stop itching!"

To his surprise Faith caught his hand in one swift movement clasping it with her own and trapping it.

"Can't itch if you're trapped can you?" she mused, sticking her tongue out playfully.

Tala's face twisted into a mock scowl, but inside he liked the feel of the dark-haired girl's soft fingers and warmth. He knew her comfort had helped but was not entirely convinced to think that he would receive the same reaction from his other so-called friends.

The traumatic experiences of his past replayed in his mind. No matter how hard he tried to shun the memory as he had done so many previous times, it would not work anymore. 

Although talking to Faith did help, there was something missing, she still could not know the harshness of Boris. The games he had played emotionally and physically. He needed to talk to someone who had been with him and only one name came to mind- Bryan.

"You know they will understand Tala," Faith cut in, although only being able to read half his thoughts.

Tala sighed with exasperation, that was a question he had to deal with and soon. But would they understand?

"How do you know that Faith? I mean sure they'll nod their heads, ask me a few questions, but they'll go behind my back, talk about me, pity me as if I have some problem," he responded, hurt etched on to his features as he looked up intently at Faith.

Faith knew he was making sense, there was no doubt pity would be shown, as it had been shown to her. She knew how it felt to be the odd one; the outsider, and people, society was harsh. People didn't like outsiders. Even if you were part of them, one slip and they would shut you out to a world of harsh loneliness. No matter how kind you thought a person was, you could never read their real thoughts, and people were hypocrites, Faith knew that first hand.

Which was why she had been surprised on her first day in Brunei. Tala had embraced her as a friend straight away, even though it was clear she was an outcast. Yet she knew why now, knew it was because he was an outsider at heart. Both of them craving to be accepted yet both scared to try.

"I know you've felt that feeling Faith. I want normality too, I want to be Tala as I always have been, not labelled 'the gay guy'"

After a moment he looked up questioningly, "What happened to you?"

Grey eyes darkened and looked away, there was something stopping her from revealing her past to the boy on her shoulder.

"My mother died a year ago"

"I'm so sorry"

Faith latched eye contact with Tala in one swift movement, "No! That's not what I want, I don't want pity Tala."

Her tone had become harsh for a moment as if something had snapped inside of her, bringing her to life for that small second, but it returned softly, "It's either pity or complete insensitivity. Why can't people just ditch the extremes?"

Tala released a laugh, "Touché Faith, touch

For a moment there was silence, a silence where neither had to jump to force conversation, but remained in thought. Tala stared at Faith, his large eyes peering up,

"I guess change isn't always a good thing," he muttered.

"No, I guess not. But sometimes don't you just believe that life would be easier if people did change. But people don't change; _you _have to change if you want to be accepted."

Both contemplated the statement before Faith smiled with a curious look.

"Tala"

"Hmm"

"How did you know you were gay?"

Tala smirked openly. He had been waiting for that question. Raking a hand through his now unruly hair he pondered over the question for a while. When had he become gay? In fact he still remembered liking the womankind at the beginning of summer. His eyes were (if he was out) flirting with some female form, and (if at home) glued to his life size poster of Lucy Liu, his favourite pin-up. Though he had to admit the Charlie's Angels star was still hot, seeing the picture lately no longer had the same effect as it used to. Nowadays it was always some sexy male rock star that got his blood rushing, and he was scared that one of these days he would actually be caught drooling.

"Y' hello! Earth to Tala!"

Tala blinked looking blankly at the hand waving frantically in front of his face. Sheepishly he smiled.

"Oops. Uh…just thinking. I guess I always used to like girls because all the guys liked them. But I'd always catch myself staring at some guy, which scared me sometimes. I mean, I knew I wasn't straight inside somewhere, but self-denial," he snorted and then carried on, "Che, I stopped denying the facts a while back. I still remember when Kai and this other boy Kane were discussing their preferences in women and I just realised that I didn't have any sexual preferences for women…just that they, um…aren't women? No offence!"

"None taken Tal," Faith grinned, but that soon changed as her face scrunched up in wonder, "Kai and discussing?"

This time it was Tala's turn to grin, "Yeah the boy does have a voice you know"

"Hmm miracles do happen then," Faith bit out sarcastically, it annoyed her that Kai could be so rude to everyone and get away with it, and on top of that Kai would not tell her the truth about the cut she had seen.

Tala picked up on the girl's subtle cynicism and attempted to pry out what had happened earlier that day, after all that was what had triggered off Faith.

"What happened with Kai today?"

"Ah-nothing-just-his-um-you-know-uh-self," Faith replied, trying ungracefully to cover up what she knew. After all it wasn't up to her to gossip about what Kai was obviously trying to hide.

Their conversation was interrupted as Callum walked through the front door; bag swung over one shoulder and Discman in one hand. Music blared out from his headphones that were draped over his coat around his neck. On seeing the two on the sofa, his eyebrows quirked up in interest.

"So, I'm guessing you two have been busy, eh"

Tala's eyes widened, while Faith used to her brother's mischievous antics threw a cushion at his head.

"Bulls-eye, bitch goes down!" she shouted, surprising both Tala and Callum. 

"Plagiarist, stop stealing quotes from 'Scream'" he joked back, throwing himself backwards onto the soft couch and flipping the television switch. "Oh yeah, Faith you do realise that your mates are waiting for you at Kudos, you were supposed to have met them over half an ho-"

But his sentence was cut off because Faith had jumped up on realisation, grabbing her jacket and dashing out of the house without a second word.

__________________________________________________________

Nicky sighed, "Look I'm sure she'll be here, guys just cut her some slack"

"Cut her some slack! CUT HER SOME SLACK! Nicky she's _half an hour _late! I mean she didn't even bother finishing her bit of the decorations and now she can't even be bothered to turn up and you want to _cut her some slack_," MC huffed.

Nicky chewed on her pen, adding touches here and there to her napkin doodle, whilst trying to block out the complaining that was taking place on the table. Shaking her head wearily, she realised there was no stopping MC's rant and decided to watch the melodrama unfold before her. After all it was quite amusing; the girl was gesticulating so wildly as though she was trying to recruit supporters for a fascist cult, Nicky couldn't help but grin.

"This isn't funny Nicky!" MC blasted, glaring at Nicky.

"Yeah sure, sure…" Nicky responded, leaning back casually, which subsequently angered MC more. But to Nicky it was quite interesting; she had never seen MC in such a mood. It wasn't really like MC to blame people, granted Nicky knew exactly _why _her friend was having a hissy fit and blaming Faith. And it was all down to missing valuable time with her _'Sweetie-Pie'_ (as Rei was consequently now referred to as. Although Nicky enjoyed teasing him and calling him _'Sweaty-Pie'_)

"So you finally realised she's bad news eh?"

Nicky looked up to see who the new voice in the conversation was, and her hazel eyes scanned the waitress. The angular features on Noleé that usually smiled in a timid fashion were cocked in a bitchy manner.

"Sheesh…" Nicky muttered under her breath, putting up with MC was routine for her, but hearing Noleé talk like that made her blood boil. To her there were only a few things that got her fuming and two of those things were having to listen to Noleé Warner and Courtney Fowler. Lucky for her the bell rang as Faith entered, stopping abruptly to catch her breath.

Going back to her doodle, Nicky realised that the bitching had suddenly stopped, and everyone was staring at the girl in the doorway.

"Hey! Come on over!" Noleé called out, which resulted in Nicky feeling sicker at the girl's false attitude.

Faith walked over to the table finally having caught her breath, "I'm really sorry I'm late, it just sort of slipped my mind"

"Having fun with Tala then?" MC bit out.

"No…I was just sorting out something, that's all," Faith replied, her expression starting to change as her smile began to falter slightly.

"So what could be more than meeting us" MC pried, her voice becoming more edgy.

"Um…I-I look, I'm sorry ok"

"Sorry doesn't cut it Faith!" MC snapped, finally losing her self-control completely. Nicky could tell from the way MC had turned her head abruptly away from Faith, that she was already regretting her tone.

"MC leave it," Nicky broke in warningly.

"No I think MC does have a point, I mean we should know if something's going on between her and Tala," Noleé added, firing the argument once more.

Nicky rolled her eyes, she hated the way Noleé butted into everything, trying to act sweet…it made her skin crawl. Come to think of it, if she just had her drum sticks she wouldn't mind using them to drum some sense into the girl.

"There's nothing going on between me and Tala, we're just friends"

Noleé laughed, "Come on Faith, don't think we're _that_ stupid"

"But…there-there isn't…I mean Tala, he's you know-uh-Tala"

MC's eyes flashed, as she suddenly stood up to leave, "What so now you think there's something wrong with Tala!"

"I-I never said that…"

Nicky had been watching the scene unfold and decided it was time for her to step in, "Come on Faith lets go. MC just has PMS right now."

Standing up, Nicky made her way to the door, Faith following behind.

"I-I'm sorry, here we thought you might join…" MC called back to Faith holding out a piece of paper.

Taking the piece of paper and muttering a 'thanks' Faith walked out behind Nicky. Squinting in the dark to see what MC had handed her, she discovered it was a form to join the Beyblade competition. If there was ever a time Faith was confused it was now. She had just heard one of the worst childhood memories possible and in the same day argued with one of the people that actually cared about her, or so she thought, about something so dumb. But she couldn't disappoint Tala, couldn't tell them about him, about what he had told her. She wouldn't.

_________________________________________________________

Kai had been walking aimlessly around the outskirts of Brunei. The centre was a part he hated to visit, partly because everybody knew each other. He wanted to be in a place where he could roam freely amongst other anonymous figures, where no one would care who he was, or what he was doing. That was the pain of living in a small village. But then he had no choice, forced each day, and forced in every part of his life. Controlled. Although his Grandfather liked to call it 'disciplined' he knew better, there was a significant difference between being disciplined and controlled.

He knew he would be expecting a beating when he finally decided to return home, but he was used to that. Used to the fact that he had no choice, no freedom…nothing. His life, a feeling of emptiness, just like a darkened void. 

The sky had begun to darken hours before, he had decided to go home then, but had carried on walking instead. But now, his feet had carried him home, before he even knew what he was doing he was stepping into the mansion which belonged to his Grandfather.

"Master Kai. Sir Voltaire wishes to see you immediately in his study"

Just like it always was. Every time he came home he was called. Not to talk, no. Just to be told, to be threatened as he always had been…as he always would be. Controlled. 

Softly he opened the mahoghany study door and stepped onto the thickly carpeted floor. 

No 'Kai how are you'…no 'why are you late'…no, he knew the routine, the hard slap stung his face, leaving a burning sensation…but he was used to it.

He didn't complain, after all it was better than being bottled as he usually was, as he was last time. Slowly he made his way up to his room, locking the door behind him, and finally crumpling to the ground in pain, in tiredness. Yes…he was tired, tired of everything. 

Hitting the shower switch and peeling off his top, he caught his reflection in the mirror. The wound clung to his forehead like a bleak reminder of who he was, who he always would be. 

And then there was Faith, the girl had almost worked it out; she was perhaps the only one. His hands shook in a steady rhythm as he ripped off the Band-Aid, which was stained in red. He hadn't bothered dealing with the cut, and it began to re-bleed. He couldn't take it anymore…couldn't deal anymore. Making his way to the bed, blood trickling slowly down his ivory coloured skin, hands still shaking, the steady beat of the water hitting the shower base, he knew there was no other way. He reached out pressing the button on his stereo-system, and angry lyrics blared out.

_I've_

_Become so numb_

_I can't feel you there_

_Become so tired_

_So much more aware_

_I'm becoming this_

_All I want to do_

_Is be more like me_

_And be less like you…_

He stared out of the window, rain trickling softly down the glass, with a cigarette lit in one hand. And he realised he was like the glass, stiff, hard, and yet when broken could shatter into a million pieces…

_Every step that I take is_

_Another mistake to you_

_And every second I waste_

_Is more than I can take…_

The nicotine dripping through his blood stream, and yet not enough. Not enough to gain control, not for him. And the cigarette pressed hard against his skin, burning his arm, almost branding himself…but he couldn't feel anything but numbness.

___________________________________________________________

**And so this chapter comes to an end, a sad, sad end of Kai self harming. I will try to update soon, but school and exams are really getting in the way, so you'll just have to look out for it ^__^;;  
  
I really, really appreciated all the reviews, they mean a lot to me, knowing that people like what I'm writing.  
  
So I would firstly like to thank Nicky and Elfy.**

**And then in no order:**

**(dranzers flame, whisper, F.A star hawk, Life of Tears, Coppelia, Arcia, Foxspirit, Mezu, Faith, CRL, silvery, AzN*PyRo*ArCaDa, Lena, Ryoki, Tenma K, Dark Ice Dragon, Kai baby-girl, fantasy-angel, Jhaylin, Lone Fenix, Silver-eyes Magician Girl and Ashla.)  
  
Please leave a review ^__^**


	13. vodka, blood and boxes

**Chapter 13**

The front room of the house positioned on Rockmore Drive was dark, save for the small amount of light glowing off the television and illuminating the two boys sitting on the couch.

Blue eyes glared at the satanic digits on the VCR, and still they would not budge. To Tala it wouldn't have mattered but the fact that he was alone with a boy who was sitting extremely close to him, had begun to freak him out. Callum's thigh brushed innocently against him, forcing Tala to gulp suddenly.

It wasn't as if he had never been alone with a boy, hell he was always alone with them, but the whole saga that had unfolded hours before had left him on edge. He wanted to jump and scream, and run away as fast as he could from where he was. But he was stuck, watching Callum out of the corner of his eye. The way Callum was sprawled out across the sofa lazily, the way his shirt had raised slightly revealing a patch of his taut tanned skin, the way he had managed to look attractive in an almost effortless way. It had affected Tala, to the point where he just wanted to escape, and yet Callum on the other hand had not suspected a thing.

"I have to go," Tala screeched suddenly, his voice high pitched.

"Hey, are you okay?" Callum asked, looking at Tala as though he had flipped.

"Uh-yeah-look, I-I…I'll see you, tomorrow…"

Quickly, the red head jumped up, almost bounding out of the door without an explanation, or before Callum even had the chance to say goodbye let alone complain. But it didn't affect the brunette; he casually went back to relaxing on the sofa, stuffing his face with a handful of Pringles.

Outside, Tala walked as fast as his legs could take him, his face flushed. Yet he couldn't understand why he was acting so strangely, it was starting to somewhat worry him. Was he becoming overly obsessed?

He had no idea, in fact all he could thing about was his past, and all he knew at that current moment was that he still had not managed to overcome his past. He had thought about it, and thought over it more, until the point where his brain felt like it would explode. Running a hand through his bright hair, he knew he had to see Bryan tonight, there was no point waiting any longer, after all he had waited six years to see him.

Opening the door to the piece of metal waste that was his Honda, he sat himself behind the steering wheel, turning the key as the engine started with a rusty cough. Although he knew it wasn't in the best of conditions, he was grateful that his adoptive parents had decided to buy it for him, they weren't as well off as the other families in the neighbourhood and he realised that the purchase had been difficult to sustain. 

Pulling out of the street, a dark feeling of what he imagined to be the size of a boulder formed in the pit of his stomach, twisting his nerves into unimaginable knots. It sickened him, and yet he was determined to find Bryan, determined to sort things out, despite not even knowing what he was going to tell him or rather ask him. His hands gripped firmly on the steering wheel he began to remember what his Russian friend was like. 

Bryan and him had never been more than acquaintances despite being in the same dormitory. He remembered him as the sadist, the one who was always in Boris's office for sending one of the children to the medical ward. But he knew Boris favoured those who were mean, cold, heartless…something he was trained to be since birth and yet something he failed to master almost eighteen years later.

_Eighteen years later_, he contemplated that statement, almost eighteen years of waste, and what had he accomplished? Nothing, nothing at all, he was like a soul wandering without guidance, without light. He mentally shook himself, he was always dwelling, always thinking and yet he knew he needed a clear head to face Bryan's riddled form of communication. Hitting the play button, he drowned in the blare of heavy guitars that came from the speakers, his inner voice silent once more. 

_____________________________________________________________

It had been a while after Faith and Nicky had exited Kudos, walking side by side they made their way back to Rockmore Drive in silence. Even Nicky who usually jumped at the opportunity to make use of her vocal chords had managed to refrain from speaking. But such was the atmosphere where speaking seemed likely to cause more damage than was necessary. They remained in this way until a sharp toot from a night Owl cut the silence, causing both girls to bolt in surprise. 

Nicky laughed softly, while Faith shuddered, "Those things freak me out"

"Hey! Animal rights! It's an Owl not a thing," Nicky mused only half seriously.

"Whatever"

"If you aren't careful that 'thing' will come and peck your head," Nicky responded in a fake voice that sounded like something out of the exorcist. 

"Tala was right, you are weird," Faith laughed back.

Nicky grinned pretentiously, "I prefer to call it 'different' thank you very much," she continued on a more serious tone, "Speaking of Tala, does he seem a bit distant to you? I get the feeling something's wrong"

Faith tensed slightly, she couldn't tell Nicky about what Tala had entrusted her with, it seemed wrong for her to discuss it, "No, no I'm not sure what's wrong with Tala."

"Oh, well I have to go by later on anyway, I'm such an idiot I snapped my drum stick and I left my spare at his house." 

By this time, they had arrived at the front door to Faiths house. After fumbling with the keys the door opened and both girls stepped inside to find Callum still lazily relaxing on the sofa.

"Hey Calumny (a/n: Calumny is something that is scandalous)," Nicky chirped, whacking the back of Callum's head, as he surfaced from the couch. 

"_Scandalous_," He responded comically imitating one of the Ashley's from 'Recess', "What brings you here Nickelodeon?"

Nicky purposely rolled her iris into the back of her head, revealing zombie-like white eyeballs, "To steal all your junk food," she answered, voice raspy and arms outstretched pretending to grab the tube of Pringles that sat on Callum's lap. Both teens fell into heaps of laughter at the little performance.

Faith cut in suddenly, "I thought Tala was here"

"He left, he was acting all weird… voice high pitched, god only knows what goes through that boy's head," Callum answered snatching the Pringles back.

Nicky's expression changed to that perhaps resembling worry, "I should be going, best get that drum stick"

"Yeah…see you tomorrow," Faith replied slightly distracted in her own thoughts.

"Ciao babe" Callum called as Nicky walked out of the front door.

Tala's house, was only a few streets away and for the anxious Nicky it took no time at all to be stood on his porch, waiting for someone to answer the door. She could smell the familiar scent of his mother's cooking wafting in the air, making her mouth water. She had always enjoyed being a guest for dinner, partly because Tala's mum could do wonders in the kitchen, and partly because they were genuinely nice people. Even then, Tala had always managed to find some fault in them, Nicky knew he found it difficult to accept them as his true parents and they would always end up arguing on this point. 

The wooden front door opened revealing a petite woman.

"Nicky, come on in" she welcomed brightly.

Nicky smiled warmly, Tala's mother always had the ability to make her feel appreciated as an extra to their family. She looked nothing like Tala, but then that was obvious seeing as she wasn't his biological mother. Instead of being tall, Nicky estimated she was almost half his height. Her honey coloured hair and warm brown eyes oozed daintiness which, was also seen in her beaming smile and calming personality.

"I'm here to see Tala, Mrs. O'Hara" 

"Oh I'm afraid I haven't seen him all day."

Nicky frowned, "You haven't? Well just tell him I popped by, will you?"

Mrs. O'Hara smiled, "Sure, wait a minute, take these for your mother, she's always nagging me to send her some scones"

That had to make Nicky smirk, it was so much like her mother to nag Tala's mum for scones, after all her mother barely had time to step foot into the kitchen let alone bake wondrous treats. Her dad was usually the one cooking all the food, and at that it would mostly be ready-made meals.

With a thank-you she stepped back into the warm summer night, the drumsticks completely forgotten and instead the only thing embedded into Nicky's mind was the thought of finding Tala. Pulling out her cell phone as a last resort she pressed the speed dial button to Tala's cell. It rang for a few seconds before switching to his answering as a woman's orderly voice started…_'you have reached the answering for the number 07733-'_

In defeat she headed home, hoping that Tala was somewhere warm and safe.

__________________________________________________________

Tala had been tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and humming in beat to the Incubus song 'Smile Lines' that was blasting out from the tape deck. He had attempted to not think, until that point when his thoughts were snapped away from the distracting song and onto the sound of ringing, his cell-phone ringing. 

Slowing the car slightly and glancing at the number on his caller display, he almost had a heart attack seeing Nicky's number glaring back at him. Immediately voices of concern filtered through his head, what if she knew what he was doing? What if she had told his parents? It was almost as if he had a guilty conscious that could snap at any moment, but then there was a part of him that did feel guilty for not talking to his parents before going to find his past. Quickly he pressed the off button on the cell and watched as the screen that had been lighted up seconds before faded into the darkness surrounding.

After a few minutes, the familiar sign of 'Castledon' came into view. This was where his beloved field was located, but he also knew that Bryan was a current resident of the town.

Pulling off the main road and onto a side street he parked the car under a street lamp, turning off the ignition. With the front drivers seat light on, he fumbled with the lock on the side drawer, rummaging through the junk that had collected there. Underneath the CDs, tapes, pens and pieces of paper he pulled out a tiny square black book. Skimming through the yellowed pages he came across the number he had been looking for, Bryan's. Picking up his cell once more and switching it on, he dialled the number that had been inked in black years before. He gripped the cell harder as his hands grew sweaty from nerves. Ringing… Ringing… his breath held back waiting for someone to pick up. _Click…_ He could have sworn his heart skipped a beat when he heard that click of the receiver.

"Hello," the voice belonged to a male, Tala guessed he was a lot older than a teenager was, probably in his thirties or forties, it was an annoying voice too, something you could get bored of hearing almost instantly.

"Can-Can I speak to Bryan"

"He's at work, call back later kid" 

And Tala could almost picture the man at the other end, about to hang up, hang up Tala's own dream at the same time. 

"-Wait"

"Yeah?"

"Where does he work?" Tala asked, spewing out the first thing that came to his mind.

There was a sigh of irritation, before the voice answered, "It's a club, 'The Pitt' its on the high street" 

And then there was the click, but it didn't matter, because Tala knew where he was going now, knew he was heading to this so-called club on the high street.

__________________________________________________________________

The tacky red sign flashed repeatedly outside 'The Pitt' and a line of people snaked up and along the pathway. Joining the queue Tala became lost in his thoughts and did not realise that he had reached the front, until an over-muscled bouncer stopped him suddenly. Looking up Tala caught the bouncer's gaze that washed over him trying to make out whether he was of suitable age or not. This seemed to strike Tala as funny and he cracked a small grin, causing the bouncer to shake his head and chuckle before ushering Tala through the arched entrance.

As he followed the mass of people trundling down the stone steps into the basement, the smell of smoke and the feeling of darkness engulfed him. Tables and tables were scattered around, each filled with people much older, smoking and drinking. He knew if he looked to the dark corners there would be couples making out, he had been at 'The Pitt' before, although that was just a coincidence. He couldn't remember much about that time, except that the bar was located near the front. Slowly he made his way forwards pushing through the herds of couples and groups all dancing freely on the cheap light up dance floor. As he neared the stage the heat became much more intense, the smell of smoke had become somewhat heavier and the music blaring from the amp was louder, threateningly vibrating the fragile atmosphere.

Sliding into a seat at the counter he waited for the barmaid to be free and soon enough she came to serve him.

"What can I get you, mister?" her voice was very sultry, and she intentionally leaned forwards revealing her cleavage teasingly as she wrote down his order.

"Coke and vodka," Tala replied casually. 

As she set about pouring the mix, Tala studied her carefully. She was exactly the kind of girl he used to thrive off. Her short brown hair was pulled into two high pigtails, with a few loose strands girlishly falling to the side of her pretty face. She was dressed in the usual night-club uniform, of a tight fitting black strapped top, with the small red 'The Pitt' badge sewed onto one of her breasts. From what he could make out, she was also wearing a rather tiny PVC mini-skirt that would have sent the straight and bi male population wild. 

"Here you go darling," she placed the glass on the table top, winking and waiting for her tip.

"Do you know where I can find Bryan?" Tala asked, placing a few dollars on the table for the barmaid.

"Hang on, I'll get him for you babe" she moved aside for a moment, popping her head into the door positioned behind her, "Snowflake, someone wants you"

Tala's hand flew to his glass, hastily gulping down part of the Alco-pop he had just ordered. He was nervous; his fingers clenched the cool of the glass, whitening in anxiety, the glass dangerously on the verge of shattering from the pressure-

"Sindy, who's going to count up the rest of the bottles if people call me every two minutes for a chit cha-" He stopped talking when he saw the red head seated behind the counter. Tala also looked up at that instant, recognition clear in both of their expressions.

It was strange, all these years Tala had forgotten how Bryan had looked, only a vague image stained his mind and yet as the other stood in front of him, everything about him came back refreshed. 

His hair colour was the same shade of lilac, still in the same sharp cut that reflected his personality, except it had grown down below his neck in a rebellious fashion. His eyes held the same coldness that stared menacingly against the pale skin of a Russian. There were only a few things that had changed, one being his height, the other the addition of a stud, which pierced the skin beneath the lip on the labial. 

Bryan smirked suddenly, bringing Tala back to life. 

"So long time no see"

Tala scowled, "I'll cut to the chase, why did he do it?"

"He?" Lavender eyebrows raised in mock confusion.

"Boris"

Bryan leaned over the table, it was to Tala as though he had crossed over the border of being a worker to a customer, and he did not like it. It was making Tala more nervous, making him almost forget why he was there, what he was doing. He raised his glass, devouring the rest of his drink.

"Never realised you would turn to drinking Tala, or am I making you anxious" The boy smiled, a harsh uncaring smile. Tala groaned inwardly, he knew Bryan was pushing buttons, the right buttons, it made him feel like a puppet, obeying as Bryan yanked at his strings.

His mouth twisted into an angry frown, "cut the crap Bryan, you know I'm talking about Boris"

"_That sadistic bastard_? How would I know?" Bryan rolled his eyes, nodding at Sindy to motion that he had understood her silent warning. 

"Come through, we'll talk about your _issues_ inside," muttering under his breath in Russian he added, "You're scaring the customers away"

Tala followed, he did not care where they discussed it, as long as he got answers.

"Why did you come here," Bryan asked suddenly.

"I want the truth"

Bryan's voice edged with annoyance, breaking slightly, "What truth Yuri? Do you want me to tell you its ok? That your life isn't still controlled by him. That his voice doesn't echo hauntingly every time you break one of his rules. You know its true-"

Tala slammed Bryan against the stone wall of the basement; his arm pressed firmly against the other boys' neck, choking the rose tattoo that was just visible under the black of the boys T-shirt.

Bryan smirked, "You still can't face the facts about yourself can you?"

Blue eyes narrowed harshly, "shut up Bryan," he said softly.

"You can't even admit," he spat at the red head, "What did you come here for? For me to tell you it's ok that you're gay? What…did you think I had forgotten Yuri?" he taunted.

"Shut up!" Tala growled, louder, more angrily, his arm ramming Bryan against the wall harder. He let go, grunting under his breath, before turning and walking away.

Bryan's cold laugh rung out around, "Or should I entertain you on the topic of your parents?"

It was as if something had snapped inside Tala, like the puppet string had been pulled much too hard. There was no thought involved, only the impulsive thrive of anger pushing forward. The fury built up into Tala's clenched fist that connected sharply with Bryan's jaw, slamming them both backwards against the darkness of the wall.

For a moment both wore an expression of mutual shock, motionless, their brains catching up to what had just happened. Tala looked pained as realisation hit him, the boy in front of him had his head hung low, like a life-less rag doll…guilt swept through his veins replacing the adrenaline that had been pumping. That was until Bryan's hair shifted and he looked up daringly at Tala, his lips curved into a sickening smile, teeth showing, red, and mouth dripping with blood. 

Roughly Tala let go of Bryan, he knew it was another one of Bryan's mind games, he refused to play them. It was simple and he walked away.

The heavy door of the basement groaned as Tala pulled it open. Before it had even opened completely the loud blare of electric guitars skimmed the corners of the room. 

_I love the way you rape my skin  
I feel the hate you place inside  
I need to get your voice out of my head  
Cause I'm the guy you'll never find  
  
I'm faking all of the rules  
There's no expressions on your face  
I'm hoping some day you will let me go  
Release me from my dirty cage  
  
_

I can't control you  
You can't control me  
I need to feel you  
So why's it involve... you and me...

Neither moved again, still, almost contemplating the lyrics filtering through the tiny gap in the door, but then Tala's hand gripped the door handle harder, ready to leave, having the courage to leave.

It was Bryan who spoke, "Wait, they sent your box"

Tala gripped the handle harder, stationary, not knowing what to do. He knew exactly what 'the box' was. It was nothing and it was everything, it was colloquial in the Abbey, for the items the boys came to the abbey with. Of course these weren't allowed to remain with them, and so Boris would store them in shoebox sized metal tins. Tala had seen them before in Boris' office, he assumed all the children had, they were stacked on the shelf one upon the other, an army of identical boxes, except for the personal number printed on to the side. They were identical on the outside alone, on the inside they contained possessions of their pasts, the pasts Tala craved to have so much and yet could barely remember.

He turned around after a moment, knowing that Bryan wasn't lying. He wasn't trained to lie; there was no need after all. 

The last time Tala had seen one of the boxes was when he had been beaten in the principle's office, and here it stared at him, from Bryan's hands. His box, his own box, not one of the random ones, it was his.

Greedily his azure eyes swept over it, he wanted it so much, and yet he was scared. Unsure he stepped forward, but the sheer presence was like a drug, a drug that he craved; hungrily he snatched it from Bryan's hands.

"Thank you" He smiled a soft pained smile, fingers clenching the cold hard edges of his box possessively. Their eyes met, blue against purple, a whole conversation carried out in just one flicker. He turned and left.

________________________________________________________________

Outside the summer breeze lapped upon his face as he walked, in no direction in particular, but as he came closer he knew he had been walking to his field.

It seemed so long ago that he had been here, carefree…happily enjoying his time with Faith. Yet those memories seemed like a dream now, something that he had never experienced. His veins oozed with emotions that were bursting to be released, and it was at that point when he lay back on the fresh grass, knees bent before him that he knew he was fatigued. He could just sleep there for eternity, and yet the child in him was yelling at him, kicking and punching him with its little fists so he would open the box. He looked at it staring at him from nearby, he was afraid; did he really want to face what had been locked away for so long? He didn't know. 

There was something nagging inside of him, telling him that the box was a hoax, that it was with him to torment him in some sickening way, some sickening method of Boris. He had evidently dealt with too much that day, too much emotion. 

Covering his eyes with his numb fingers, he sighed, he wanted to be swallowed up by the ground, drowning beneath into pools of nothingness. But the box was waiting…

__________________________________________________________________

**Well that's chapter 13 written, please leave a review (just click that button there!)**

**Anyway, before you go, hey WAIT, I have a surprise for you all…**

**A very good friend of mine called Elfy, has kindly drawn a picture of Faith looking out of a window wistfully staring at the world, it's really awesome and I love it to pieces, so here's the link (you'll have to copy and paste it because ff.net is being stupid)**

If you can't see the link above, check out my ff.net profile and there will be a link there, but you HAVE to see it, it's just beautiful!

**Hope you enjoyed that ^__~**

**So I would also like to dedicate this chapter to three people in particular, Elfy because she drew that awesome picture, Nicky for helping me on the chapter and Coppelia because she really wanted some Bryan in the story, and has been waiting a long time for it! Hope you enjoyed!**

**And**** I'm doing individual thanking-ness this time because you guys are the greatest.**

**Flamey- **That's so nice of you, I feel bad for not updating sooner, but you made it sound so nice saying that you enjoyed it sparingly *huggles* well I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter.

**Mezu****- **Thank you for the review, yes I will put in more Tala and Faith moments because I think they're a nice contrast from all the angst in this story! And aww Kai *huggles*

**Dark Ice Dragon-** Thanks for the luck-ness for my exams, so far they've gone pretty well so I'm happy, and last chapter MC was just acting a bit mean, but we're all mean once in a while so she's excused. LOL. Hope you update the hidden soon, I'm waiting ^_~

**Lost Deasert Wolf-** I really will try and keep updating now, because I'm in the mood for writing this story, *pokes* will you leave me a longer review? Pleeease *pouts* because I love reading things from people who read my stories, even if it's something about you.

**CRL- ***cries with CRL* yeah that was sad last chapter with Kai, and don't worry MC and Rei are still together, ^_~ did you manage to listen to that Incubus album? What did you think? Aww I love it! Brandon *jumps excitedly*

**Whisper -**YES! Glomping Yuri is a great idea *glomps* hehehehe, let us laugh evilly too! Hope you liked this chapter! And yay, you come to the forum more, so I get to annoy you more!

**Vampire Neko -***kicks Noleé in the balls* yep I've wanted to do that too! And you'll have to see what happens with Faith, but she does get with someone, but *grins evilly* you'll have to wait and see!

**Nicky -***helps Nicky to kill Voltaire* I hate that man sooo much, urgh! But I have a lot in store for him, Kai will be saaaved! *dramatic finish* hope you liked you in this chapter!

**Elfy –**Aww you aren't emotionally unstable, I'm just a great authoress who can make people cry at the click of my fingers *sticks out tongue* just joking! And thank you sooo much for the picture, I really loved it! I really did *huggles elfy*

**F. A Star Hawk –** Thanks, and yeah it did seem like MC had serious PMS last chapter, hopefully she'll be cured soon. Voltaire is a whole other story, *pukes* I hate him, must start plotting to kill him *laughs evilly*

**Tenma Koneko – **I'll tell you from now, this isn't a Tala/Kai story, just so you know, and Faith, you'll have to wait and see who she ends up with. So you can refresh your memory on what has happened in the story, check out the reviews and I left a review with a summary of what's happened (especially for you) and hey! What's happened to sweet revenge!

**Ryoki- **Hey I updated! Is the world going to shine now! *grins* and I'm glad you like the plot so far, its really nice hearing that because I'm always unsure of where I'm taking this story (trust me the original plan was soo different) Thank you

**Arcia –**Hey when did you become so dramatic *pokes tongue* glad you liked it, and aww Kai, he's so cute when he's sad. God I'm such a sadist! Thanks for the review!

**Katie- **Thanks for the review, hope you liked this chapter! Keep reading! ^__^

**Mira- **It's nice that you can relate to it, I hope the future chapters will have you smiling and sorting out the problems that have incurred your life. Talk to you soon, and leave me a review.

**Oh**** yes one more thing, if you don't have an ff.net account or just want reminding when the chapters are updated, leave me your email address in a review, and I'll email you telling you when I've updated.**

**Till next time, your authoress**

**~dudems**

**P.S. Please review *winks***


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